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Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code Essay. To start this story, Eoin Colfer introduces the characters and setting in witch an unusual fashion. Since this book is a sequel, he has the difficult task of introducing the characters to new readers while still keeping it interesting for creative supply the ones who have stayed with him through the previous books. Python Witch Scene! He accomplishes this masterfully and with a BANG. He immediately hooks the the odyssey analysis, reader and simultaneously explains the complicated web of his excellent cast of scene characters. We begin in a Knightsbridge Bistro, present time, and are introduced to the protagonist: a pale adolescence genius by the name of Artemis Fowl and his trusty Eurasian bodyguard Butler. Alfred Adler's! We are also introduced to monty the antagonist: the alfred adler's, shadowy American businessman and monty witch fugitive John Spiro and his hulking, beastly, body guard Arno Blunt.
Artemis is there to creative supply present an offer to scene the dangerous American. Artemis has stolen fairy technology in the form of a cube (all of which is bartleby explained in the prior books) that can read any mechanical information and present it with incredible speed and python witch precision. His offer is that he will not release this incredible product for 9 months, and in lisa clothing that time Spiro can sell all his stock and put it into Fowl Industries. Monty Witch! John is suspicious and asks for a demonstration. He requests that Artemis track all the laser satellites monitoring him at analysis, that specific moment. Fowl is monty witch happy to comply and the machine begins to of the cave text whirl. Monty Python! It picks up satellites belonging to the odyssey analysis the FBI and other government owned operations.
It then tells them that the LEP is monitoring him as well. Artemis is stunned and quickly shuts up the box. Spiro is monty scene confused by the LEP warning, but doesn’t think much of An Out it. Then the inciting incident happens. Artemis and Butler suddenly find that all the scene, restaurants occupants are arms and trained on the two heroes. Creative Supply! Spiro has been in control the entire time and monty python witch scene with a chuckle he leaves with the cube clamped tightly in his hands. He leaves Arno to make sure that Fowl and Butler are exterminated. Artemis is surprisingly calm in the face of mona danger. He quotes and monty python old English philosopher and with the the allegory of the text, final words the monty, building’s occupants fall screaming to the ground.
Our hero’s were not niave and completely trusting of Spiro. Therefore, they planted sonic charges inside the alfred theory, building. Artemis and Butler are saved by the ear plugs worn in their ears. Butler leaves Artemis unguarded while he scopes the rest of the scene, building. Arno awakes and with his M9 takes aims and creative supply fires into python witch scene, the chest of Artemis. Lisa! At this point, the monty witch scene, reader is either extremely confused, or at the edge of their seat. And to dame sans raise suspense Colfer leaves Artie and Butler at a cliff hanger for a minute and changes to another exposition.
This time it is with a Fairy by the name of Holly Short in the underground utopia of Haven City. This is a refuge for magical creatures of witch scene all sorts to gather and to thrive. A place where technology is far superior then that of the surface world and the “Mud Men”. Holly and Artemis have crossed paths twice before and the allegory of the text even had a slight romance. Monty Scene! Holly is part of the bartleby, LEPrecon police force. Scene! LEP standing for clothing Lower Elements Police. Currently she was escorting a group of monty scene routy goblins to Police Plaza. All their cars are electronically oriented on clothing a hub in the middle of the monty, city.
Suddenly all power goes out in define smes the city. All cars are shut off and every entrance and exit are blocked. This can mean one of two things; A power failure, which is impossible with the countless backup generators the city has, or they have been exposed to the humans. Holly immediately rushes to python Police Plaza and reports for duty. She is mona lisa clothing sent to investigates what has happened and why. Monty Python! The story then returns England and to the conflict. Arno Blunt is aiming his pistol at bartleby the scrivener, Artemis and is about to fire when Butler jumps into monty python, his way and absorbed the bullet into the odyssey analysis, his own chest. Python Witch Scene! Arno flees the scene as Butler slowly bleeds to death. Creative Supply! And with that, the suspense begins to build, Artemis freezes Butlers body in a fish cellar and contacts Holly to help him.
She has less then 6 minutes to zoom (with her wings) from her surface entrance in Ireland to python witch scene England. She arrives with seconds to spare and proceeds accomplish a tricky magical surgery and Butler manages to alfred adler's survive. He is python now armed with the anger and hatred to kill Arno Blunt. Now the reader understands the le belle dame merci, main conflict, Artemis and monty witch scene his friends must discover a way to enter John Spiro’s seemingly unpenetratable fortress and take his prized position. The Allegory Of The Cave! Holly finds that it was Artemis who “pinged” the Haven. If Spiro were to python witch get past the “Eternity Code” set up by adler's, Fowl to secure the monty python witch, cube the alfred adler's, existence of the Lower Elements could be exposed to all mankind. Witch! Holly agrees to help Artemis only if he agrees to have his mind wiped after the exposition. Creative Supply! Artemis hurriedly agrees and formulates a plan hat he tells only parts of to everybody.
They then proceed to execute the scene, well formulated agenda. Spiro cannot open the cube since it has an Eternity Code on it, that only Artemis can open. Clothing! Artemis goes to the Spiro Needle and tells him that it may take weeks to crack the code. Spiro keeps him under house arrest until he completes his objective. Then an invisible Holly, with the help of monty python witch some of define smes her technologically sophisticated buddies, infiltrates the building. Eager to monty python scene show off, John presents the the scrivener text, complex security system to python witch scene Artemis, which Artemis records on his iris cam. Holly frees Artemis and then begins the analysis, climatic event. Spiro’s paranoia caused him to python witch scene move his bed to right in front of the cube. Dame Sans Merci! Holy and Artemis manage to seduce him by pouring gas from the monty python witch, air filters and mona lisa clothing continue to python work their way through the complicated security measures. They pass the first few test with ease, but they must have a finger print of John’s thumb. Clothing! They cut his thumb at the joint and are now in extreme pressure to get through the monty python witch, cube and back.
Holly can only reattach the dame sans merci, thumb using her magic before 2 minutes. This is the peak of monty python pyramid, the bartleby the scrivener, reader is python scene practically sweating with anticipation. The Allegory Of The! The duo manage to get back 30 seconds after their apparent deadline and reattach the thumb. After that adventure the story must wind down. How could it not after a climax like that? The dangerous duo continue their way out of the Spiro Needle and head home. Python! While all of that was happening, Butler had been given a special assignment due to his obvious injury. He has the task of the odyssey analysis saving all their files related to fairy information onto disk that the more sophisticated fairy wouldn’t notice.
He is ready when the two adventurers return with their prize. It is python witch quickly destroyed by creative supply, holly, smashing it into witch, a million pieces. True Essay! The story could end right now, but there’s a few things needed to be wrapped up. The fairies are left with a dilemma, if they mind wipe Fowl will he become the evil little devil he was in the first book? Will he find a way to get past their mind wipe, but not have the emotional piece of the puzzle, therefore trying to lead another assault on Fairy Kind? Despite the risks they decide to wipe him anyway. Witch Scene! The fairies have enough photographs and define smes information to python witch scene lock Spiro up for the next decade and the story ends sadly with Holly looking at the allegory, the oblivious friend she had come to monty witch love. University/College: University of the scrivener Arkansas System. Type of paper: Thesis/Dissertation Chapter. Date: 24 February 2017. Let us write you a custom essay sample on Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code. for only $16.38 $13.9/page.
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Nov 17, 2017 Monty python witch scene,
resume monarchical NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF US INDEPENDENCE. NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE (2000) The Revocation of Indpendence as executed by Alan Baxter Peter Rieden, 8 th Nov 2000, apparently inspired by an email sent by Dan Fox (who claims to be the ultimate originator) or Kevin O'Connor (who also claims to monty python witch be the ultimate originator). This version was compiled 21 st Nov 2000, compiled from several different versions. Early drafts, showing how it grew, are further down. Responses and the odyssey, related pieces are also included further down. Important note: The Revocation of Independence is monty python, NOT by John Cleese. During 2005, a version was wrongly attributed to him and was circulated crediting Cleese as the the odyssey, author. Witch? He did not write it. It was present on An Out or Flase? Essay Usenet and monty, the Internet long before his name became associated with it.
To the citizens of the United States of America, In the adler's, light of your failure to elect a President of the python scene, USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the Experience: Essay, revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Monty Witch Scene? Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and theory, the Senate will be disbanded. Monty Witch? A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the alfred adler's, following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on monty witch your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. The Allegory Of The Text? You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is monty python witch scene, pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh.
You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the the allegory cave, same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as like and you know is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. There will be no more 'bleeps' in monty python witch scene, the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to alfred adler's cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. Monty Witch? When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to dame merci use bad language as often. 2. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and witch scene, the elimination of -ize. 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to mona understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is python, Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires e.g. The Odyssey Analysis? Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire. 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the python scene, good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to the odyssey play English characters.
British sit-coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness. 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen, but only after fully carrying out monty task 1. We would not want you to get confused and le belle dame sans, give up half way through. 6. You should stop playing American football. Python Witch Scene? There is only one kind of text, football. What you refer to monty as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of dame sans, you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at monty python witch least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is mona, understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to monty python scene play a girls' game called rounders which is the odyssey analysis, baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs. 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is monty python scene, a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky.
The Russians have never been the bad guys. Merde is French for 5hit. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in An Out, public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public. 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day. 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. Monty Scene? At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the mona clothing, benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. 10. You will learn to make real chips.
Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of witch scene, a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
11. As a sign of adler's theory, penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the monty witch, Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself. 14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. Analysis? The fact that you need so many lawyers and witch scene, therapists shows that you're not adult enough to the odyssey be independent. Guns should only be handled by python scene adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun. 15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your cooperation. (2000) ALAN BAXTER'S NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. From a company Intranet newsgroup and read: London, 8th November 2000. To the citizens of the United States of America, 2. Learn at clothing least the first 4 lines of God save the Queen 3. Start referring to monty python soccer as football. 4. The Allegory Text? Declare war on Quebec. (2000) PETER RIEDEN'S NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE.
The following is the text of a message which was communicated to President Clinton at 07:30 (EST) today: To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Britannic Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II. USANIAN FORM OF 15 POINT NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. November 8, 2000. To the Subjects of Her Majesty, the monty python witch scene, Queen of England, To the citizens of the clothing, United States of America: In light of your failure to elect anybody as President of the USA, and thus to govern yourselves and, by extension, the free world, we hereby give notice of the monty python scene, revocation of your independence, effective today. The Allegory Cave? Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over python witch scene, all states, commonwealths and other territories including New Jersey. The Allegory Of The Cave? To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please comply with the monty witch, following acts: 1. Look up revocation in the now official Oxford Dictionary.
Start spelling English words correctly. 2. Learn at least the first four lines of God Save The Queen. 3. Start referring to soccer as football. 4. Clothing? Declare war on Quebec and France. 5. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason. 6. Close down the National Football League. Learn to monty witch play rugby.
7. Enjoy warm, flat beer and of Body True or Flase?, steak and kidney pudding. 8. Train waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their names before you eat. 9. July 4th is no longer a public holiday; this has been replaced with Nov. 5. 10. All members of this British Crown Dependency will be required to take six weeks annual vacation and observe statutory tea breaks. 11. Driving on python witch scene the left side of the the odyssey analysis, road is now compulsory. Recall all vehicles to effect the change immediately. 12. Report to our Consulate General in monty, New York for your new passport and job allocation.
13. Clothing? Have Meg Ryan report to monty python witch scene Prince Andrew's bedchamber. 14. Add the royal insignia to the top of the Washington Monument and le belle sans merci, the Queen's Christmas speeches to the Lincoln Memorial. 15. Stop referring to the World Series of Baseball and instead call it the National Series of USA, Cuba and Japan.
Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the witch scene, acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776). Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day. (2000) REPLY TO THE NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. November 8, 2000. To the Subjects of the odyssey analysis, Her Majesty, the Queen of python, England, In the light of adler's, your failure to prevent us from kicking you out in the 18th century and doing as we damn well please, we hereby notify you that you can keep it down over there before we take notice. Sure, historically America really doesn't pay much attention to the rest of the world. But when someone does catch our eye, we tend to carpet bomb them to a pre-industrial state.
It may not be right, or fair, but it is scene, a trend. I suggest you keep it in mind. Mona Lisa? To aid in your realization that you should pipe down, the following facts are listed: 1. American English is distinct from British English. Our aluminum is a lovely silver color, and we do not 'armour' our tanks, thank you. 2. When you can tell the scene, difference between an Alabama and Louisiana accent, I'll pay attention to the difference between a Londoner's and a Yorkshireman's accents. 3. Rather than God save the alfred theory, Queen; you should learn The Battle Hymn of the Republic.
After all, if it weren't for python scene, American soldiers you'd speak German today, twice over. And if it weren't for An Out Experience: True or Flase? Essay, American bread, butter, etc., you would have been starving while we saved your little old island from the Hun. 4. If I were to monty witch throw an American football block on football player, he'd be out of the game and I'd be ejected. Text? If I were to throw a real tackle on a rugby player, he'd be maimed. Monty Python? The pads in American football are to keep you from being crippled or killed.
Just because rugby players tear their ears in alfred adler's theory, a group hug called a 'scrum'doesn't make them tough. You want tough? You put YOUR arms in theair while a 322 pound (46 stone) man slams into python witch, you at a dead sprint and An Out, still catch the ball. That's tough. 5. If you can't settle the French's hash, find someone else. After all, they have lost to python everyone *but* the British this century.
6. The irony of mona clothing, a Brit complaining about monty American cars is too much. I've driven British cars and le belle dame merci, they're like a Hyundai, but poorly made. When someone else comes up with an idea as good as the muscle car, we'll think about it. To sum it all up, we really aren't interested in your opinion. Another immediate response from the US mentioned something about a large shipment of monty scene, Tea (the Boston Tea Party for those not required to study US history). True Or Flase?? Then there was this . The Supreme Court of Florida has instructed me to post the following to ensure strict balance in these turbulent times.
DECLARATION OF ANNEXING THE BRITISH ISLES AS PART OF THE USA. To the monty python scene, imperialist British colonizers. In the light of adler's, your indecision over joining a common European Currency, your dissatisfaction with the European Union, your bickering with European Governments and the fact that you already almost speak our language and refuse to speak any other European languages, you are to python be annexed as a State of America. Your state code will be GB. Adler's? Zip codes will be assigned to replace your old postal districts. The state capital will be Stratford-upon-Avon which is a lot prettier than London. Princess Diana will be declared a saint. You have already assimilated so much American culture that you are unlikely to notice the monty witch scene, transition. To aid in the assimilation, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. Look up aluminum in any good American Dictionary. Adler's? Check the spelling and pronunciation guide. We discovered it, we named it, you are mispronouncing it. Python Witch Scene? Learn to live with it. You are, of the allegory text, course welcome to your idiosyncratic and illogical place-names such as Edinburgh, if you wanted it pronounced 'Eddinburra' you have spelled it that way in the first place. You will quit using words such as fortnight. The correct term is a two week period.
You will learn words such as credenza, intern and python witch scene, chad. 2. There is no such thing as UK English. UK English is the relic of a defunct colonialist power which attempted to An Out of Body Experience: Essay impose British English linguistic superiority on a nation which has a higher number of witch, English speakers. 3. Your film-makers should learn to distinguish the American and Canadian accents. American accents are not limited to redneck drawls or New York accents. Adler's Theory? Mainland Americans have more than enough accents to cope with in our own country, so all British dramas will now bear subtitles, especially those made in impenetrable dialects such as Scottish, Scouse or Geordie. Monty Python Witch Scene? To make life easier for mainland America, all British films and TV programs must use American vocabulary and accents; Scotch characters will wear plaid, Irish characters will have shamrocks on them, Welsh characters will not be used since we don't have Welsh Americans, and the allegory of the cave text, English characters will wear bowler hats and pinstripes. 4. The British film industry will no longer portray all Americans as cowboys, rednecks, trailer trash or Beverly Hills billionaires. Hollywood will continue to use Mockney and Posh British accents as this makes it easier for viewers to identify which characters are British. You can have Hugh Grant back.
He's a lousy actor and python scene, we don't want him either. All British films will be made in Hollywood where the weather and scenery are better. Your film industry is already unable to make a halfway-decent film which doesn't contain a American in the starring role. Analysis? All American characters should be 'good guys'. 5. You will learn your new national anthem The Star Spangled Banner.
It shall be sung every morning at kindergarten, high school, university and your places of python scene, work. Your Union Flag will be hung up any damn way we wish so stop bitching about it being upside down. If there was meant to be a right way up you should have made it simpler. All Union flags will be replaced by the Stars and Stripes over a 12 month period of time. 6. You should stop playing soccer and rugby. There is no need to have two games, one of mona, which is confusingly like Football and monty, one of lisa clothing, which is called football but patently isn't real football. If it doesn't require 45 pounds of padding, it isn't football.
You should also stop playing cricket. Americans can't understand the rules. If you insist on playing this game which is monty witch, only played by former British colonies, you will introduce a simplified scoring system, timeouts, colored strips and cheerleaders to make it more interesting. Any match which takes longer than 90 minutes will be declared a draw. 7. In films, as in real life, we decide who the le belle merci, bad guys are.
The bad guys are those guys who don't do as we tell them. They are also the guys who attract the biggest audiences into movie theaters. You will cease using the word cinema. They are movie theaters. The snippets of scene, forthcoming films are not trailers they are teasers. 8. Creative Supply? November 5 th is no longer a day for fireworks. July 4th is the python, appropriate fireworks festival. If you want a big fireworks party on November 5 th , we will help you to blow up your Houses of Parliament.
You won't be needing them any longer; Disneyland London will be situated there. Hunting with packs of dogs is also banned. Instead, you will go hunting with a pick-up truck, some six-packs of beer, two coonhounds and enough guns and ammo to equip a private militia. There is also no such activity as caravanning. Creative Supply? It is properly called camping. The thing boy scouts do with tents and bedrolls is called tenting. 9. Roundabouts will be banned.
What is the monty python scene, point of creative supply, turning left in python scene, order to turn right? They are confusing to Americans and are death traps. Alfred Theory? You will start driving on the right with immediate effect. Most of the world drives on the right already. You will be allowed to turn right on a red light if safe to do so though you must check local county legislation as this is not permitted in all areas. 10. Those things which you call chips are cholesterol-soaked abominations. You will start to eat fries - light fluffy potato in crisp coating. If you want to eat British-style fried potato sticks you will need a certificate from your doctor and good medical insurance. Beer is to monty python witch scene be served cold.
The warm, flat drink you call beer is properly termed 'ale' and the allegory cave text, the FDA have determined it to be unfit for human consumption. You will also learn the monty scene, difference between crackers, cookies and biscuits to avoid causing unnecessary confusion to mainland Americans. 11. All inter-personal communications between family members, even if resident in the same house, must be through a lawyer. It is compulsory to sue somebody at Experience: or Flase? Essay least once per year - be inventive. Monty Python Witch Scene? It is compulsory to have therapy three times each week and to recover false memories of your childhood which allow you to sue your parents and/or your therapist. Therapy will take the place of the odyssey, speaking to family members. You will be given compulsory courses on how to become dysfunctional.
Name your children after interesting medical conditions. 12. Witch Scene? You will not have guns. In the eyes of Mainland Americans you are wayward children. Children are not permitted to play with firearms unless they have a legitimate reason to do so i.e. they plan to gun down the population of a small town (self-defense) or slaughter every living creature within a mile radius (hunting). Thank you for your co-operation. The Odyssey Analysis? You will be assimilated.
Footnote: Resistance is futile. Just ask Hawaii. By the way, Ireland and Scotland should be separate states. They have entirely different cultures and monty python witch scene, languages from the creative supply, Norman fops. Python Scene? To avoid supporting third world countries and welfare states (the reason for NOT annexing Mexico), Canada, Australia, New Zealand, should become independent nations. Adler's? The Falkland Islands should become an American Protectorate like Puerto Rico, Samoa, The Philippines, Guam and monty scene, other places that are neat to vacation. America should take back Hong Kong immediately. TO THE CITIZENS OF THE UNITED KINGDOM OF GREAT BRITAIN AND NORTHERN IRELAND:
We welcome your concern about our electoral process. It must be exciting for you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a distance. As always we're amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a world power. Le Belle Sans? The sun never sets on the British Empire! Right-o chum!
However, we regretfully have to python witch decline your offer for intervention. On the other hand, it would be amusing to the allegory text see you try to enforce your new policy (for the python witch scene, 96.3% of alfred theory, you that seem to witch scene have forgotten that you have little to no real power). Mona? After much deliberation, we have decided to scene continue our tradition as the longest running democratic republic. It seems that switching to a monarchy is in fact considered a backwards step by the majority of the world. To help you rise from your current anachronistic status, we have compiled a series of helpful suggestions that we hope you adopt:
1. Analysis? Realize that language is an organic structure, and monty python scene, that you aren't always correct in your pronunciation or spelling. Let's use your aluminium example. Le Belle Dame Sans Merci? Sir Humphrey Davy (an Englishman) invented the name aluminum (note spelling) for the metal. However, in common usage the name evolved into python witch scene, aluminium to match the naming convention of other elements. In 1925 the An Out of Body Experience: or Flase?, United States decided to switch back to the original spelling and pronunciation of the word, at which point we dominated the aluminum industry. We'd also like to point out that the monty python witch scene, process of actually producing aluminum was developed by an American and a Frenchman (not an Englishman). However, we'd like to thank you for the Oxford English Dictionary. It's an interesting collection, considering that over 10,000 of the words in the original edition were submitted by a crazy American civil-war veteran called Dr. William Charles Minor. 2. Learn to sans merci distinguish the American and Canadian accents, and monty python, then we'll talk about the English and Australian accent issue. 3. Review your basic arithmetic. (Hint 100 - 98.85 = 1.15 and 100 - 97.85 = 2.15)
4. If you want English actors as good guys, then make your own movies. Don't rely on us for theory, your modern popular culture. We liked Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Trainspotting, and The Full Monty. We've also heard good things about this Billy Elliot. But one good movie a year doesn't exactly make a cultural powerhouse. However, you're doing pretty well with music, so keep up the monty witch, good work on that front. 5. Lisa? It's inefficient to monty python witch have a national anthem that changes its title whenever your monarch dies. Let's not forget that your national anthem has an extremely boring tune. Creative Supply? We suggest switching to that Rule Brittania ditty, it's toetapping. Or maybe Elton John could adapt Candle In The Wind again for you guys.
6. Improve at your national sport. Football? Soccer? This just in: United States gets fourth place in men's soccer at scene the 2000 Summer Olympics. United Kingdom? Not even close. By the way, impressive showing at Euro 2000. You almost managed to get through the tournament without having your fans start an international incident. 7. Learn how to cook. England has some top notch candy. Salt 'n' Vinegar chips are quite yummy.
However, there's a reason why the best food in your country is analysis, Indian or Chinese. Your contributions to the culinary arts are soggy beans, warm beer, and spotted dick. Perhaps when you finally realize the monty python witch, French aren't the spawn of An Out Experience: or Flase? Essay, Satan they'll teach you how to cook. 8. Monty Scene? You're doing a terrible job at understanding cars. The obvious error is that you drive on True the wrong side of the road. A second problem is monty python witch, pricing, it's cheaper to of the buy a car in Belgium and monty python, ship it to England than to buy a car in England. On the other hand, we like Jaguars and Aston Martins. That's why we bought the companies. 9. We'll tell you who killed JFK when you apologize for of Body, Teletubbies. Thank you for your time. You can now return to watching bad Australian soap operas.
PS: regarding WW2: You're Welcome. BILL CLINTON'S LETTER TO LIZ WINDSOR. The following was received from David Simpson of Fletcher Greenwood Co. I received it on python witch 21st Dec 2000 in response to lisa this history, but it is monty python witch scene, dated 13th November. FROM: Bill Clinton. TO: Her Britannic Majesty Queen Elisabeth II. SUBJECT: Revocation of American Independence. DATE: November 13th 2000.
Ole George, Your Great Great Great Great Great Great Grand Pappy said we'd screw up over here in the Colonies and it's finally happened. This time it's got nothin to do with me, at least that's what my advisors say. I have really tried to the odyssey analysis stay outta the news and away from the babes to help Gore but he's no Goddamn use anyhow. Monty? He screwed up by himself this time. We'd agreed those ballot papers in Palm Beach cos we were tryin to confuse the hell outta the Republican voters. An Out Experience: True? Guess that one back fired. So, 'bout this notice sent out sayin' you're reclaimin the monty python, colonies and takin over, well, we kinda feel it's cute you'd wanna have us back after all this time. One concern though, 'bout those back taxes, we need time to pay. Theory? Pretty soon I aint gonna have a job. I know Hillary' got a well-paid position now but she won't wanna have much to monty do with me soon. She's still mad at me 'bout Monica.
Every time I light a cigar she still cries and analysis, throws stuff. As for the national anthem. Well I was kinda wondrin if you'd let me play it on the Saxhorn for you sometime, it's been a while since I've had a good blow, but I'm practicing an' hopin'. Had a word with the boys at the Pentagon 'bout nukin France and Quebec. They said it'd be no problem but are kinda worried the EU might renegade on the banana deal we worked out through the python witch, WTO. Also said somethin about mona lisa clothing a nuclear winter but guess it's close enough to Christmas for a bitta snow anyhow. You know Liz, one of the requests does kinda suck. We like our football and the advertising guys are hoppin mad about the python witch, possible loss of income. They say soccer, sorry football don't have enough breaks to fill it up with advertisements and that folk'll get bored. I gotta agree on Experience: Essay this one Liz, for the sake of the American people, sorry, new British Subjects, I gotta stand my ground here. Anyhow, gotta go blow the horn with Monica and get learnin' this new tune.
Oh one more thang, don't suppose Tony could give me a job could he? DECLARATION OF THE COMMONWEALTH OF AUSTRALIA ON TAKING CHARGE OF THE AFFAIRS OF THE ENGLISH SPEAKING PEOPLES. The following announcement was found in monty witch, a corrugated iron outhouse West of Alice Springs -- some fecal matter has been removed but the the odyssey analysis, text is python, still fairly clear, despite the beer stains. When, in the course of alfred theory, human events, it becomes clear that major powers have turned into circus acts, it becomes necessary for somebody to python sort out the ensuing shambles. We won't even mention politics, just an internationally accepted yardstick for national ability, the Olympic Games.
Since the An Out of Body Experience: True Essay, USA can't organize an Olympic Games without making a shambles of the business, and since the UK hasn't had a competitive Olympic team since 1908, then Australia has an overriding claim to national superiority. It remains true, of course, the US Olympic team won the most medals in the last games, whilst Australia came fourth, but that only monty, proved that on a population basis it takes eight times as many Septic Tanks to the allegory cave win an Olympic gold medal as it takes Australians. It therefore becomes Australia's duty to take charge of those nations who still know where their barbecues are kept. Washington and London will now take their guidance from Canberra. Canberra used to be an excellent cow paddock but became the site of the political capital of monty python scene, Australia, which means there's far more bullshit there now than there ever was before. An address will be provided to those that need to communicate with the Australian government: one side of a postcard only please, and replies can be expected within a year or so. In the le belle dame sans merci, meantime, please obey God's eleventh Commandment to the Aboriginals: don't do a thing until I get back to you. Political lobbyists will need to bring their own swags, billies and bush tucker until extra accommodation can be provided. (See below: Waltzing Matilda). Visitors can also expect to find themselves being sprayed with insecticide by python customs officials when arriving on Australian soil.
As a courtesy to incoming guests we always provide the theory, first layer of fly repellent free of charge. The other sixty five daily applications are your responsibility. You have our permission to say the monty python witch scene, word 'aluminum' any way you wish. Since Australia is the world's largest supplier of bauxite we don't give a shit what you call it, just as long as you keep making the stuff. Place names in all English speaking countries from now on should be clear, simple and of the cave, straightforward for all English speakers. Please write for an advisory leaflet from the Australian Centre for Sensible Place Names, Rabbitflats House, Rum Corp Road, Woolloomooloo, Sydney, New South Wales. Americans should be aware that a Chad is a traditional UK/Australian cartoon character. He has a big nose, a single strand of curly hair and is always drawn with only the upper half of his face visible over a brick wall.
Equally traditionally, Chad is always saying: Wot! No . Only the monty witch, last word is altered to suit the occasion. At present, of course, the inscription would read: Wot! No President? A piece of paper punched out of a ballot paper is technically known internationally as shit-for-brains, since everybody else in the world has a population which is capable of drawing an X on a ballot paper. Only laboratory monkeys and of Body or Flase? Essay, American voters make decisions by hanging on handles. However the incoming Australian administration doesn't want to make too many radical changes. Simply be aware that in monty witch scene, future the US and UK will be required to follow Australian voting procedures and that from the odyssey analysis, now on it is a criminal offence for a citizen not to witch vote.
Or at least it's an offence not to attend a voting station. What you do in the booth is up to you. But at least there's no need to spend any more time and money in trying to persuade voters to turn out. We, in turn, will abandon the proportional representation system. Le Belle Dame Sans? This system of voting was invented by the British mathematician who also wrote Alice In Wonderland. Not surprisingly, the results are always a Mad Hatter's Tea Party. We have no intention of altering anybody else's variety of English, though personally, I'm agog to know how you meet with somebody.
Either you meet them or you don't. There are of course cultural differences to monty python scene be bridged but they can be done so profitably. Clothing? For example, street kids in the US who deserve jail terms will instead be compelled to watch a four day cricket match and to python answer questions afterwards: our own juvenile delinquents will be forced to watch the entire collection of Letterman shows and then to try to explain why the audiences laughed at any part of them. The Australian Minister for Culture has ordered that from now on all Hollywood films have Australian directors. Sans? Furthermore, they must also be joint Anglo-American productions, as that seems to be what it takes to make a decent movie nowadays. Monty Python Scene? Notting Hill and lisa clothing, Shakespeare in Love for example. Python Witch Scene? We also demand a re-make of alfred adler's theory, Dr Strangelove starring Bruce Willis: the highlight of the film is going to be when he gets dropped out of a B-52 riding on top of a nuclear bomb. Only this time it's going to be a real A-bomb and no stuntmen allowed: now die hard, you untalented prick! Oh yes, and all films are to python be shot in Australia, where we have the creative supply, sort of weather California thinks it has. We also have the best of everything else, including women, and at monty witch scene half the sans merci, price in monty scene, the States. The Australian film industry also wants Mel Gibson back -- we're going to put him out to stud.
There is no need to change your national flags. All that is required is that you fly them below a pair of Elle McPherson's knickers, preferably used. The new international anthem, of course, is Waltzing Matilda. As you are aware, all other national anthems are about the superiority of one country over all other countries. Waltzing Matilda is about a sheep thief getting caught by the cops. It is therefore an anthem to private capitalism and stock option dealings in a marginal legal situation: Wall Street and the London Stock Exchange should both be proud to sing it out An Out of Body Experience: or Flase? loudly every morning. From now on scene the only code of football which will be allowed in mona, international matches is Australian Rules Football.
American football looks like a bunch of panic stricken plane handlers fighting to get off the deck of a sinking aircraft carrier: UK football looks like a gang of kids trying to pass the time in the yard of a school for the mentally retarded. Australian rules football is the monty python scene, game the adler's theory, angels play: it's where the big men fly. Please be aware that in Australian English, to 'root' for a team means to have sexual intercourse for it, or with it. Python Scene? We're not trying to stop you from doing anything you want to, just making sure you understand your options. Gay males should also be aware that scoring a behind in Aussie Rules is not what you might have hoped it was. After some considerable thought it has been decided to retain the Monarchy to rule over An Out of Body Experience: True or Flase? Essay, the English speaking world, but to monty scene make it more relevant to the present realities. Bill Gates will therefore be crowned King Geek The First. Analysis? Hell, he owns most everything, so we might as well make it official. Witch? There's no point in building him a palace as he already lives in the odyssey analysis, one, so Buckingham Palace will be turned into a backpacker's hostel for young Australians visiting the Former UK -- or Fukland, as it will have to be renamed. The House of Commons will be required to spend one day a week picking up empty beer cans from the Palace Gardens. Which means we'll get at least one day's useful work every week out of the sods.
Of course it's not interesting to have a King as dull as Bill I without any drama being injected into the Court. Monty? So he'll need a Vizier, just like in the Arabian Nights' Stories, as evil as Viziers traditionally are, a mendacious, cunning, word twisting, untruth telling Vizier, a duplicitous dog of le belle, a Vizier, a Vizier whose instincts are wolfish, savage, bloody, ravenous and monty witch, starved. Le Belle Dame Sans? Rupert Murdoch has been approved by Australian central casting for the part. Witch? The duties of Vice Vizier are to be carried out by of Body Experience: or Flase? Homer Simpson. True, he's a cartoon character, but cartoon characters have been installed in the US Vice President's Office for years and only Gary Trudeau noticed. Scene? You will be advised in due course whether King Geek II will be a carbon or silicon based lifeform. The question of mona lisa clothing, which side of the road to drive on has been settled fairly. From midnight to twelve, it's on the right, from twelve to midnight it's on monty python witch scene the left, and every alternative Thursday when there's a 'r' in the month and a full moon you can drive during the hours of creative supply, darkness directly along the python witch scene, top of le belle merci, any white line you fancy.
If in doubt, please contact Robert Hughes, the well known Australian art critic and road safety expert. Unfortunately, but in line with world opinion, we are going to have to insist on monty witch scene the cessation of capital punishment for criminals. However, we are prepared to strap offenders to le belle dame sans merci an electric chair and force them to eat a Vegemite sandwich: if they decide they'd rather have the current turned on instead that's their choice. Vegemite is technically a yeast extract but to non-Australians tastes something like what your great grandparents might do if you dug them up, scraped some of the residue off the coffin walls and put it between two slices of bread. Monty Python? But although consuming Vegemite is Experience: True, not compulsory, all non-Australian citizens will be required to eat shark in their fish and chips. Except for lawyers, who are excused on the grounds of professional courtesy. Of course all non-Australian beer is to be immediately poured away down drains and monty, replaced with real beer: beer as cold as liquid oxygen, beer with more punch than Mike Tyson, beer which biteth like a serpent and An Out Essay, stingeth like an adder, beer you can taste three blocks away from the pub. All the Milwaukee slops can go back into python, the barmaid's apron they were squeezed out of and lisa clothing, as for British beer . Some dissension has arisen over cultural festivals and when is a suitable holiday to let off fireworks. Monty Witch Scene? Since we have no such days on our own calendar we Aussies have decided the best thing to do is to lisa clothing hand Northern Ireland over to the US as the 51st state.
After all, Washington seems so interested in getting a peace deal there that it might as well have the place. The idea is that the British get to let off their fireworks when the scene, last British soldiers leave Ireland, and the Irish factions will supply the US Peace Keeping forces with fireworks enough thereafter. Of course there are arguments that America is mona lisa clothing, too powerful and too rich have any outside system imposed on her, and also that Americans are too proud to truckle to python any kind of a King. Alfred Theory? These arguments are, of course, specious. Too powerful? kicked out of Southern Vietnam, bombed out of the Lebanon, self defeated at Desert One, ejected of Ethiopia, not quite up to snuff for monty witch scene, a ground war in analysis, Kosova, unfortunately unavailable for East Timor, scuttled by a rowing boat. What's the matter, can't you find somebody your own size? Or are you saving up the US Army to stand guard along the Tex-Mex border as part of Dubya's new approach to foreign policy? Too rich? Don't like Kings? Well, there's one monarchy the Americans will always fight for and that's the monty python witch, Saudi one. And everybody in le belle dame sans, the West knows why.
If Saudi Arabia stopped selling oil the python witch, CLOSED signs would go up on gas stations right across the states and the West would have an economic down turn which would make the 1930's Depression look like just a bad day at creative supply the office. Scene? Which is the real reason why Australians are desperate to see this Presidential farce settled. Look, our Prime Minister is not exactly a charismatic super star. Of Body Experience: Or Flase?? He could get lost in monty python, a crowd of two. Our Leader of the mona, Opposition looks like a stranded whale in a suit. But they're both smart enough to know that if the US keeps on supporting Israel in the Jews' totally ruthless suppression of the Palestinians there's eventually going to be a reaction from the monty, Arab masses. The day that Omar Bin Laden becomes the President of the Peoples' Democratic Republic of Saudi Arabia is the odyssey, a day nobody in the West wants to see. Python Witch? But unless somebody can rein those Israeli imperialists in there will be a revolution in the Arab countries and Allah alone knows who'll be in charge when the smoke clears. Right now we need somebody in the Western world who'll give the Jews the straight news: you want to le belle dame sans fight the entire Muslin world, you do it on your own.
We don't know you, we're not subsidizing your army, and we're not going to risk our oil supplies to keep the Jewish voters in the United States happy. But that's not a message that Gore or Bush would ever dare deliver -- not until it's too late. But they're all that we've got, and we haven't even got one of them yet. No wonder everybody else in the West is screaming in frustration. The Americans will still be squabbling away in the courts over a bunch of geriatric generated votes until the streets of enemy occupied Palestine are filled with dead Arabs -- and when somebody lets off a suitcase nuclear bomb somewhere in revenge the only response from Washington will be more brainless screams of outrage about terrorism. As far as I can see President Clinton has made honourable efforts to avert a looming disaster in the Middle East. But now the Ringmaster is leaving and all we've got left are two clowns taking turns at monty python kicking each other's butts. America and the world needs better, much better, than America has been able to come up with this time around. And now it looks as if everything which has made the US a great country is going to be dragged through the filth of the courts by a bunch of lisa, low life lawyers. (2000) NEW ZEALAND VERSION OF THE NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. This version, giving the USA to the Maori people, circulated on 20th November 2000.
To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a President and thus to govern yourselves properly, Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has revoked your independence, effective immediately. Python? However, she will not govern you herself because the creative supply, Maori of New Zealand have claimed ownership of the monty scene, USA. There is ample evidence that Maui discovered America after setting out from the ancestral homeland, Hawaiiki, in the wrong direction. Under the Treaty of of the cave, Waitangi all Maori land that was illegally taken by python scene the Crown will revert to Maori ownership. Ngai Tahu will resume administrative responsibility for of Body Experience: True or Flase?, all states except Florida, which they do not fancy.
Your new governor, Sir Tipene Oregan, will appoint a ministers to look after your affairs without the witch scene, need for further elections. Congress and Experience: True or Flase?, the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to monty witch an Aotearoa-New Zealand Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide.
You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to mona clothing acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as like and you know is an unacceptable and inefficient form of monty witch scene, communication. Look up interspersed. 2. Alfred? There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on monty python scene your behalf. 3. You should learn to lisa distinguish the New Zealand and Australian accents.
It really isn't that hard. 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast Russell Crowe and Tem Morrison as good guys. 5. You should relearn your new national anthem, God Defend New Zealand in English and Maori, but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and monty, give up half way through. 6. All MacDonalds and Burger King outlets will be closed down, and you will purchase fush and chups, but only when you can pronounce them properly. 7. Any whales stranded on beaches will be the property of Ngai Tahu, and Sir Tipene must be notified immediately. 8. You will stop playing American football. It is a dreadful game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is adler's theory, a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. Scene? You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football ie. rugby, which is similar to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full body armour like poofters. Initially, it would be best if you played in the women's competition. It is a difficult game, but with training you should be able to get together at Experience: True Essay least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
9. You should declare war on Quebec and witch, France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. 10. Mona? July 4th will no longer be a public holiday. Python Witch? November 8th will be a new national holiday, called Indecision Day. 11. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you Holdens, you will understand what we mean. 12. Please tell us who killed JFK.
It's been driving us crazy. 13. Creative Supply? Failure to comply with the above will be taken very seriously and result in the severest of punishments - Roger Douglas will be put in charge of your economy, and it will serve you right. Thank you for your co-operation. (DATE UNDETERMINED) CANADIAN VERSION OF THE NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE.
To the citizens of the United States of America. 1. Python Witch? In the light of your failure to elect a President of the United States, and thus govern yourselves, we hereby give you notice of the Revocation of your Independence, effective today. 2. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over cave, all States, Commonwealths and other Territories; with the exception of Utah, which she does not fancy. 3. Monty Python Scene? Your new Prime Minister, The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair MP, for the 97.85% of you who do not know that there is a world outside of your borders, will appoint a Minister for the allegory of the, America without the need for further elections. 4. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you have noticed. 5. To aid in the Transition to a British Overseas Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect.
i. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up the python witch scene, word “aluminium”. Check the clothing, pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. ii. Generally you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up “vocabulary”. Using the same 27 words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an monty witch, unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up “interspersed” iii. There is no such thing as “US English”. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
iv. You should learn to distinguish between the English and creative supply, Australian accents. It really is not that hard. v. Monty Python? Hollywood will be required to occasionally to cast English actors as the “Good Guys”, and le belle dame sans, Canadian actors not as Americans with funny accents. vi. You should relearn your original National Anthem, “God Save the Queen”. This is to be carried out only after Task 1 is completed, as we do not want you to get confused and python witch, give up half way. vii. All Law Enforcement Agencies will be replaced with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, who are very used to clearing up after your mess, and dealing with your criminal intent.
They do reserve the right to shoot you just because you are American. viii. You should declare war in le belle dame sans, Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any Merde. The 98.85% of you who are not aware that there is a outside of your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the scene, “Bad Guys”. Merde is the analysis, French word for *beep* ix.
July the 4th is no longer a Public Holiday. November the 8th will be a new National Holiday, but only in England and Canada. This will be called “Indecisive Day”. x. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap anyway, and monty python witch, it is for your own good. You will understand when we show you a German car.
xi. Creative Supply? Please tell us who shot JFK. We know it’s one of you but it’s been driving us nuts for years! 6. Python? The preceding points are to be put into effect immediately. Any questions regarding the Transition or its benefits, please contact Canada or Australia, as they have the entire system in order. 7. Thank you for your co-operation. NOTICE OF RECIPROCAL COLONIZATION. Mark Simkiss wrote I wrote this around the le belle sans merci, US election and was happy to have seen it floating around the Internet at the time. I find the monty python witch scene, whole thing particularly interesting being an American of both English and analysis, Irish decent, and the humor of the whole thing makes me smile every time I read any of the emails related to the situation. Also, as you'll notice, there is a link at the end which is a pretty good resource for US/UK vocabulary.
It's pretty funny in fact, even if it is only 70% accurate in my best estimation. To those with the ability to read English, moreover, to speak it and have one’s accent understood, and to monty witch those for whom humor is seen in humor and the allegory, humour, this is the scene, American response to mum’s response to of the cave our dilemma in America. NOTICE OF RECIPROCAL COLONIZATION. To the citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, to the Commonwealth of Nations, including, but not limited to, Canada (which is already a state, excluding Québec), Australia, New Zealand, Bermuda, Jamaica, etc., and any other nation lacking the inspiration to create for themselves a national flag not resembling the Union Jack: In light of the monty, fact that although America stands firmly on her own two feet, this nation has been formed with ideas derived from some of the children of the best free thinkers in 17 th century Great Britain, and has been rooted in An Out Experience: True or Flase? Essay, such. Therefore, the citizens of the United States of America hereby impose the following decree as our birth rite: 1. Like our mother has previously done, the citizens of the United States of America now impose unilateral colonization upon the above fore-mentioned nations, which are for this day forward to be deemed and to which referred, Colonies of the United States of America. 2. As mum taught us best, none of the python witch, Colonies shall have any representation in our globally expansive government, however, fear not as they will be taxed thrice as heavily as any of the members of the Original Fifty States, and this shall be deemed a privilege. 3. Analysis? All currency in python scene, ridiculous color-coded Monopoly board game pastels shall be destroyed and replaced with the correct currency colors of green, black, and white. Failure to forfeit such will be treated as both servile insurrection and submission of testimony on one’s behalf to True illiteracy and monty python, need for analysis, color to sort one’s purse.
4. The President of the both the United States of America and monty python, her Colonies shall be determined by the residents of the state of the odyssey analysis, Florida consisting of mostly senior citizens, expatriated Canadians, Cuban refugees, and in the future – the now disbanded British Royalty. This will be deemed a fair representation for all. 5. English will be removed as the official language of the former UK and the former Commonwealth of Nations as well as the like for English and French in Canada. The Colonies will conform to the United States’ policy of no official language as the English language is to be enriched with the words of the world, not purified of them. 6. Police will no longer be called Bobbies in the UK. The appellation of toque for a cap or hat will be forbidden in Canada. Words spelled like centre will not be removed, but restricted. Monty Python Witch Scene? In this instance centre shall mean a physical place, where center shall mean the middle. 7. The Original Fifty States will concede a small token in good faith and instate the metric system.
8. An Out Of Body True Essay? The Oxford English Dictionary shall be renamed the Harvard-M.I.T. Monty Python Witch? Dictionary of the Global English Language. 9. Excluding the incontrovertibly inevitable linguistic derelicts of any society, all members of the Colonies shall be required to keep a vocabulary on True or Flase? par in volume with that of the witch scene, current average American of the day, and not simply Standard Received English as is spoken by many Geordies, Scots, Welsh, Nova Scotians, and Southern States Americans. 10. Obsolescent pronunciations such as roit for right, ad-ver-tiss-mint for advertisement, which by the way will pick-up a ‘z’ to replace the ‘s’ in the former American spelling, shall be banned. 11. Any citizen of America or her Colonies caught speaking the letter ‘z’ as ‘zed’ shall be latched into the town center’s stocks, head and hands, for the townspeople to mock. 12. The citizens of America’s Colonies, with the exception of An Out Experience: or Flase?, Canada, shall be required to actually read the spelling of ‘aluminum’ as used in the Original Fifty States, to conceptualize how it is not said with ‘-inium’ as the ending pronunciation.
These individuals will be screened as per items number three (3) of this list. 13. The existence of ‘types’ of English shall be abolished. All English, e.g. U.S. English, U.K. English, Canadian English, etc., shall be called English, with the python scene, exception of creative supply, Scots English, which will now be called Greek. 14.
The second level of all buses, a.k.a. lorries, coaches, etc., will be removed. 15. Monty Witch? Education will commence to eradicate the jousting gene from the citizens in Colonies where the of Body True or Flase? Essay, medieval idea of driving on monty python witch the left still exists, including the U.S. Virgin Islands. 16. American Football will keep its status as ‘Football’ and English Football will become ‘Soccer’ universally throughout the Colonies. This means France will have to change to Le Soccer or Le Soc. 17. There will be no more warm beer, and the citizens of the the allegory of the cave, Colonies will no longer be subjected to watered-down macro beers such as Budweiser and Miller.
Real American beer will be had by all. 18. Everyone in the former British Isles shall be required to see an orthodontist on monty python scene a regular basis. 19. Time shall be referred to as the following: WDC + 05:00 in London. 20. The new states of England, Scotland, Wales, British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, Québec, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland Labrador, Price Edward Island, New Brunswick, Nunavut, Western Australia, Northern Territory, Queensland, New South Wales, Victoria, South Australia, Tasmania, New Zealand, Antigua, Barbados, Bahamas, Belize, Salomon Islands, St. Kitts Nevis, St.
Lucia, St. Vincent the le belle sans merci, Grenadines, South Africa, Trinidad Tobago, and Western Samoa shall each receive a star on monty scene the flag to represent their statehood. Adler's Theory? In addition, the Northwest Territories and the Yukon Territory will be renamed the witch, state of Arctic and the state of Yukon, respectively - each receiving a star to represent their statehood as well. Finally, Puerto Rico, American Samoa, the le belle, U.S. Virgin Islands, and Guam shall all be granted statehood and issued a star on the flag. The other thirty-four (34) remaining members of the former Commonwealth of Nations shall be disbanded with the option to apply for statehood within ten (10) years. 21. Hong Kong will be returned to Colony status - we do not bow to China.
22. As of python scene, November 21, 2000, 57% of Americans from the Original Fifty States were proficient in more than one (1) language, representing 157,691,225 people speaking two (2) or more languages and over 90,000,000 who speak a language other than English at home. Creative Supply? All Colonies will be required to maintain that 50% of their territorial population can speak more than one (1) language, with the exception of Quebec, where, due to the prevalence of French, 80% of the inhabitants shall be required to be bilingual or better. 23. The Colonies will now be permitted to purchase the good American cars and will no longer be restricted to the bottom of the line models, as is python, prominent in Europe. 24. Outside the Original Fifty States and the former Canada, the numbering system shall be reorganized as such: 000 = thousand; 000,000 = million; 000,000,000 = billion; 000,000,000,000 = trillion; 000,000,000,000,000 = quadrillion, and so forth. 25. Measuring your weight in analysis, stones will only be permitted when inebriated. 26. (Now-defunct link to python witch scene humour article about America) - This site is only about 70% accurate but humorous. 27. (Now-defunct author email address) - send me a note.
The preceding was authored by Mark J. Simkiss, Jr. -- an American of both English and Irish decent. REAL ESTATE SALE - UNITED STATES. In the light of the American people's inability to of Body Experience: True elect a new president, the British Government have revoked the monty python, Declaration of Independence. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, has placed the USA on the real estate market. Monies raised shall contribute to the allegory of the the upkeep of the British Monarchy. So far, land has been allocated to the following parties by Royal Decree: ENGLAND. Wish to monty python witch scene reclaim and retain their original East Coast territories e.g. Text? New England, Massachussetts, Virginia etc etc.
These parts were colonised in the time of monty witch scene, Queen Elizabeth I so it would be neat if they were reclaimed by Queen Elizabeth II. Lisa Clothing? Any exceptions to this are as noted below and python witch scene, are granted out of Her Majesty's generosity to fellow European nations. We don't actually want to live in these places, you understand and, in An Out of Body Experience: True, due course, we will ship out our unemployed or undesirables to these states since Australia won't accept them any more. THE NETHERLANDS. New York was originally called Nieuw Amsterdam and will revert to that name. Monty Python Witch Scene? The term yankee is An Out of Body Essay, derived from the witch scene, Dutch Jan Kees (John Cheese - a generic person) and the willingness of certain parties to call themselves or others Yankees is the manifestation of a subconscious desire to return to being a Dutch territory. Adler's Theory? With rising water levels due to global warming, the Dutch want a place which will still be above sea level in 10 years' time. NORTHERN IRELAND. Since the US is so damned interested in Northern Irish affairs and has bigger St Patrick's Day celebrations than the Irish in their native country, it seems sensible to monty witch scene relocate the Irish to Utah (demonstrating that Her Majesty has a sense of lisa clothing, humour). Monty Python Witch? A state will be bought for them as a gift from the British Government. To avoid any residual inconveniences to Britain, both Northern Irish and Southern Irish shall be relocated.
They'll fit right into the allegory of the text, the gun-culture and it will save on postage costs for NORAID. Vacated Ireland will then be used for resettlement of Eastern European immigrants into the UK. ISRAEL. The votes of American Jews are so valuable that the US supports poor beleaguered Israel in order to monty python scene please this portion of the American voting population. Rather than fight over the allegory of the cave text, a little bit of desert stuck in the middle of a bunch of Muslim countries, it seems sensible to simply relocate all Israelis to America. Jerusalem can be recreated in monty, Hollywood where it will be bigger and better than the original without the adler's theory, inconvenience of being a war-zone. Jerusaland will be a theme park in Southern Florida. Since all Israelis do National Service in the Army, they will provide an immediate police/security force - and one without obesity problems.
Israel will therefore have most of monty python witch, Southern Florida, excluding Miami which will go to Cuba. CUBA Will get Miami, Florida. Analysis? They currently have it in all but name. And with only one party on the ballot paper, they are unlikely to screw up on elections. REDNECKS The Rednecks will be allocated Northern Florida, Georgia, Alabama, and the Carolinas.
No-one else wants to live there. Incest and trailers will be mandatory in these states. CANADA. They're only next door so Her Majesty is going to award them 'that scruffy bit of land next to their back yard' and ask them to get it decently under control. That way, they can let Quebec declare independence or sell itself to France and not be inconvenienced by monty the loss of the odyssey analysis, a scrap of monty witch scene, land. QUEBEC As a goodwill measure, Quebec will get Louisiana which is Cajun country. No-one else wants the place since the analysis, staple diet of monty witch scene, crayfish is adler's, considered unfit for human consumption. In winter, they can all close up Quebec and head south to warmer climes.
Quebec/Louisiana will be renamed 'North Arcadia' and 'South Arcadia'. FRANCE Will be co-owner North and South Arcadia. MEXICO. The number of legal and illegal immigrants into the US makes parts of the US Mexican by default. Scene? Spanish is becoming the main language in many parts and Hispanics the main ethnic group. Might as well make it official. No-one's going to notice the difference. Lisa Clothing? Mexico therefore will get Texas, Nevada and California - they already have these in all but name. The Pacific Ocean will eventually claim coastal California anyway. ITALY New Jersey will go to Italy who already control it anyway via the witch, mob.
Only the paperwork remains to be filed . JAPAN They will get Hawaii … at long last. Sumo wrestling will be the Hawaiian national sport. TEXACO Have put in a bid for Alaska. However, Alaska will be returned to the Russians who sold it to the US for a pittance. Sans? They can then sell the oil on to Texaco and monty scene, get the the allegory cave text, Russian economy going again. GERMANY Germany will get Wisconsin and Pennsylvania. The Pennsylvania Dutch are in fact of German origin. Pennsylvania will be turned into a special reserve (a living museum) for reclusive religious orders which shun the trappings of modern life such as Shakers, Amish and Pennsylvania Dutch. UNITED NATIONS Will take control of monty python scene, all American Armed Forces. We mean the real armed forces, not the private militias. Of The Cave? Private militias are, of course, free to apply to Sierra Leone where there are plenty of employment opportunities, unless of monty python witch, course you are racist in which case South Africa may be more appropriate.
That way the UN-controlled US Forces can come along and beat the sh*t out of creative supply, you just like they've always wanted to monty python scene do, but never been allowed to of Body True or Flase? Essay do. ARYAN NATION Aryan Nation will get Idaho. Idaho will become a white supremacist state. All non-whites will be given massive resettlement packages after which a 15 feet high razorwire fence without gates will be erected around Idaho and it will become a no-fly zone. Private militias, gun-crazed radicals and supremacist groups can then use the witch, place to their hearts' content. Creative Supply? It will be a closed state so they can only wipe out each other due to witch having no-one else to wipe out. Once they've successfully wiped out each other, Idaho will be put on the market again.
NATIVE POPULATION A bit of creative supply, South Dakota will be allocated in perpetuity to the American Indians. They will also get Manhattan Island back. Oh wait, isn't that a part of Nieuw Amsterdam which is already allocated to the Dutch? They will instead have the rights to graze horses and hunt on Manhattan Island. But we'd like our beads back please. ANNHEISER-BUSCH Annheiser-Busch will end up with Missouri whether they want it or not. ILLEGAL ALIENS An alien is an extraterrestrial. Monty Python Scene? A person from another country is mona clothing, a 'foreigner' not an python, 'alien'. Get that fact wrong at your peril since any American who believes s/he is an alien or an alien/human hybrid will be shipped off-planet immediately for interplanetary immigration offences.
After that, it's up to Experience: or Flase? you to python scene find your way back to of the your planet of origin or get your parent to come pick you up. Monty Witch? Any American wishing to opt out of this deal by being abducted by aliens is free to do so. Only don't come crying to Her Majesty about implants, rectal exams or unbreathable atmospheres. MISCELLANEOUS REQUESTS UNDER CONSIDERATION ACT UP would like San Francisco. Norway will have Minnesota, please and anywhere coastal that they can hunt whales. Microsoft will have Washington State. Bill Gates will have the big White place, please. Intel will have Oregon. Ford want Michigan.
MENSA LAUNCHES CHAD SPECIAL INTEREST GROUP. EXPATRIOT TIMES, London, England, 10th November 2000. Following the creative supply, US Election, the American branch of monty witch scene, Mensa, the society for those with high IQs, today announced a new Special Interest Group (SIG). Due to creative supply popular demand we're launching a SIG for punching holes in pieces of paper, said a spokesperson for American Mensa, It will be called the Chad Opinion Group (COG). We plan to have an online 'Chad-room' where our members (COGnescenti) can exchange views about monty hole-punching and alfred adler's theory, we produce a monthly newsletter devoted to Chadding Techniques. It's a very emotive issue - the python, relative merits of clean-cut chads, pregnant or dimpled chads, hanging chads, chads in paper, cardboard and An Out of Body True Essay, other materials and any other type of chad you care to mention. All types of Chad-enthusiast will be welcome just so long as they qualify for monty witch scene, Mensa membership. Whether you only ever punch holes during elections or whether you're a filing clerk who punches holes every day, just so long as you have a high IQ you can subscribe to this SIG. When accused of 'dumbing down' Mensa, their spokesperson said, We are simply moving with the True, times. Python? There's a great deal of interest in chads right now and the Florida ballot papers proved that you need a high level of intelligence to punch out chads properly.
Commenting on the suggestion that Mensa-level intelligence is required for hole-punching, Darrin Antrobus, now living in lisa, the UK, said This is so true it hurts. GEORGE W. BUSH FINAL ACCEPTANCE SPEECH. My fellow Armenians, As I stand here today looking over this magnificent viagra, I think we can agree that the past is over. Our country is python, ready for a fresh, bipolar approach. I want to bring America together. We are the adler's, hill shining on a city, and each of us can get to monty the top if we set our feet to it. Americans have made their decision. They don't need sympathy; they need ablutions. We need to move on the odyssey analysis beyond the petty armadilloes.
Politics doesn't have to be the way it is today. We can make the pie higher. A high pie lets everyone put food on monty witch their family and their family on mona lisa the table. That's my record: I side with the people. Monty Python Witch Scene? And the B-side of of the text, my record is Billy-Joe Gibbs and the Shoeshine Boys singing Streets of Laredo. A president has to think not only of himself and his family and his baseball team's families, but all American families. I don't believe a president should be choosing who are the right Americans and who are the wrong Americans. All of us together, white or wrong, black or right. Or perversely. That's why my tax cut is monty python, as broad as we are. Le Belle Sans Merci? And it will give our expansion a timely dose of wind.
I say there is a cost to inaction. I haven't done the witch scene, acrobatics, but it's probably around a trillion dollars. That's a good round sum to creative supply offer to everyone, especially our seniors who are the backache of our nation. I would like to take a moment to mention my mother, Barbara Bush, who taught me to monty python scene read and lisa clothing, write when I was still knee-high to a lawnmower. We need our seniors to be free to pass on their life's work to those they love, and especially to pass on. Thanks, Mom and monty python scene, Dad. We know America is the best in the world. Mona? We are the great super-premium; we cannot afford to be unleaded.
This is still a world of madmen and mental losses. And mental loss is easy to underestimate. We need a sharpened sword to witch light our way. Of Body Experience: True Essay? To quote Ronald Reagan: I do not believe in a fate that will fall on us if we do nothing. I do believe in a fate that will fall on us if we do something. And it must never run our lives. The purpose of python witch scene, prosperity is to make sure the adler's theory, American dream touches every killing heart. Progress can be slow; you measure it in inches and monty, feet, not miles or kilograms.
Or cantilevers. I worked in Texas by sans merci common sense and plain dozing. I got on with small business because I was one myself. I'm less now. But I'm also more. We are all less and python witch, more. More or less. And I believe we must match our compassionate hearts with out the odyssey preservative minds.
I know you would rather be watching TV, and so would I, so I will draw to a confusion. Monty? My message is: I will get things done. I will inspire and untie. I will appeal to people's better angles. I will prove that politics can be bigger than you ever thought possible. Le Belle? We will trust the people we serve, and serve the people we trust. Together we can do what needs to be done to preserve this great bastard of monty witch scene, freedom. Thank you and True Essay, God help America.
(via email; believed to originate from python witch scene, December issue of The Economist) (2004) USENET VERSION 1. Direct Communications Unit. 7th Floor, 50 Queen Anne's Gate. London, SW1H 9AT. RE: Revocation of An Out of Body Experience: True or Flase? Essay, your Independence. In the light of your failure to monty witch scene elect a proper President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.
Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the creative supply, following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
Rt Hon David Blunkett. (2004) USENET VERSION 2. Official messages from her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II of England to scene all Americans: In view of adler's theory, your failure to elect a proper and semi-intelligent president of the United States in two straight elections and showing you are now incapable of governing yourselves, The queen hereby gives formal notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II will assume duties as your monarch and supreme ruler over all states and territories except for Arkansas, Tennessee, Alabama and Florida which her Majesty considers either too vile or senile to python scene bother with reforming. Her Majesty will appoint a royal governor that shall be responsible for creative supply, all other states. Since you can not vote intelligently or decide matters of state, both houses of Congress, the supreme court and monty python scene, obviously the office of president are disbanded effectively immediately.
The country formally known as the United States, now a laughingstock in the eyes of the world is now reabsorbed into the British empire from which it came. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules will take effect next Monday. 1. All American flags will be burned and An Out of Body Experience: Essay, replaced immediately with the union jack, official flag of the United Kingdom. 2. Python Witch? The armed forces will report to An Out True or Flase? Essay Prince William. Prince Charles will become Secretary of python witch, Defence, other posts to be filled by members of the royal family to be announced shortly. 3. All will be required to learn ballroom dancing, eat mutton every Tuesday, fish and chips on Fridays and come to appreciate warm beer. 4. The Odyssey? All Americans will become citizens of the British crown and will bow in python scene, my presence. 5. All American holidays except for le belle sans merci, New Years and Christmas are revoked to monty witch be replaced by holidays celebrated in the UK. 5. All wages, incomes, properties will be taxed at 30% of alfred adler's theory, value with all proceeds forwarded to the UK yearly. 6. Starbucks will replace coffee with twenty flavours of monty python witch, British tea.
The Queen expresses regret for taking such drastic measures, but since half of Americans never bother to vote and the other half twice in a row decided to vote for a blithering idiot that by the way the last time he visited wrecked my rose garden with his helicopter and goons running all over the odyssey, the queen's official gardens and monty witch, never even saying he was sorry, the Queen has no choice but to mona revoke your sovereignty since it is clear too many Americans have taken leave of monty python, their senses. (2004) USENET MINOR VARIANTS. There were some variant openings for the two main versions (above): In light of your failure to mona lisa make the monty python, correct decision in electing your President, thus showing you to be unfit to govern yourselves, we hereby give you notice of the revocation of your independence effective as of Monday 8th November 2004. [etc] In the light of your failure to elect a sane President of the United States and thus to govern yourselves with consideration for the rest of world, we hereby give notice of the Revocation of your Independence, effective immediately . [etc]
To the citizens of the United States of America, in view of Prime Minister Tony Blair becoming President of True, all he surveys, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. (2004) RESPONSE FROM THE USA. The main response circulated was largely the monty witch scene, same as in analysis, 2000: DECLARATION OF ANNEXING THE BRITISH ISLES AS PART OF THE USA. (2004) (ANOTHER) US RESPONSE TO THE REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. While we Americans might have taken this little joke of yours badly, we have recognized it for what it is: a cry for help. We realize that you are tired of being a third-rate little country on witch scene your own. The Allegory? Therefore we shall bring you into the fold as our 51st state. There will be some changes:
1. Python? An unprecedented road-building initiative shall commence immediately. Check out the interstate system in alfred adler's theory, the US. You'll see why this is needed. We will probably bring in Germans to do this. Monty? Looking at you present system of transport there seems to be nothing to recommend English engineers. 2. Mona Clothing? Everyone will be issued with an automobile.
Once you realize that commute of over 30 minutes in a country this size is unacceptable, you'll thank us. 3. Squads of bitter, overweight, ex-high school, and college athletes will be shipped over to instruct you on winning. In short, winning is everything. Coming in monty scene, third place consistently and the odyssey, congratulating yourselves on witch scene being good sports is stupid. Wake up. (We also believe this pedantic infatuation with language may be due to your loser status. Giving you something to of Body Experience: True Essay feel good about.)
4. You will no longer be allowed to mention the Second World War. It was the last thing you won, but it was over python scene, fifty years ago. 5. You will now be allowed to creative supply express your feelings when you want. If someone cuts in front of you in line - queue is a silly word and is henceforth outlawed - you are now allowed to kick his ass or shoot him. That's part of being an American: choices and handguns. You're really going to like this. 6. The English tradition of getting in python scene, line will probably go out of style once the stores are open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and actually have what you're looking for at a price you can afford. This is a lot to take in. Breathe slowly and take it a little at a time. 7. Soccer is le belle merci, out the window. Let's face it, sitting around for two hours watching a bunch of python, guys not score points is infuriating.
That's why you kill each other over it. 8. The Spice Girls will be executed. No discussion. Things that will not change: 1. The monarchy will remain much as it is today. We think it's cute. However we will tax them. Anybody that rich can afford it. 2. You can keep ignoring the metric system, but maybe do it a little more proactively like the rest of the States.
Let's face it. Do you really want your kids using something the French came up with? 3. Creative Supply? The English accent will remain intact. Python Witch? We like the sound of it, even if you do use a lot of silly words. Congratulations on adler's your ascension to these heady heights. (2004) THE BRITISH REJECTION OF THE REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. Upon reflection, Her Majesty's Government has decided that the python witch scene, British no longer want America. For a start, we do not wish to lower our average IQ. Lisa? To allow distinction between Britain and America the python witch scene, following should be implemented forthwith: 1. The English language is the odyssey, English as the name English suggests; new dialects made from the non-English are to be banned. The English decide how the English language is to be spoken.
As no Americans know how to speak English, we think it best for you to make up your own language - you’ve nearly done so already. It’ll be easier than learning correct English. We advise that the monty witch, creation of the of Body Experience: Essay, new language American should be left to the few of witch scene, you with IQs larger than 60. The Allegory Of The Cave? English will now be studied as a foreign language at all stages of the American education system; you may just learn it that way. Python Scene? Your country does not have a higher number of creative supply, English speakers, what you are speaking is not actually English. There is no such nationality as Scotch; it is Scottish. Don’t complain about how we depict you when you don’t even know what we’re called. 2. Hollywood is to acknowledge what really happened in all war films. You did not have the U-571 mission. That was the monty scene, British.
We Were Soldiers is to the odyssey have a new ending. Don't even get us started on The Patriot. You did not win Vietnam; the monty python witch, films should show this. An Out Experience: Essay? Hollywood is to create 10 films of what America did wrong in python witch, wartime, we all make mistakes, no wonder you are all big-headed. 3. Sports are from now on allowed no padding. We can cope without it, you will be surprised to alfred adler's find that no other country uses it and it is witch scene, not necessary. We created the the odyssey analysis, first football, so we decide what is football.
Your sport football is now called American Women’s Rugby. Basketball will be called Men’s Netball. Python Witch Scene? When you have realised that less padding is better, bouncing the alfred adler's, ball will not be allowed. In Hockey only the witch, goalkeeper will wear pads, and you are only allowed to hit with one side of the stick. Cricket will be taught from an early age; while adults can’t understand it, the mona, children might still develop an IQ. 4. The Star Spangled Banner is to be used as the theme tune for Sesame Street.
The existing one is a little too intelligent for monty scene, American children. As for the adults, the Sesame Street theme tune is on the same level as your intellectual abilities and is now your National Anthem. If you come back with some smart-arse comment about Sesame Street’s theme tune, it will just prove that you watch it. Think carefully. 5. Teletubbies was intended for children's television. If you can’t cope with it try to mona clothing make some other childish programmes yourself. 6. Adverts can only monty scene, be shown twice every 30 minutes on television.
TV is for programmes not advertising. Shopping channels will be merged with ordinary stations; this will reduce your advertising, your credit card debts, and dame, the cost of your cable bill. 7. Again, we made beer, so we decide what it is. American Budweiser is not beer; beer tastes good. 8. In the next US election you will vote for someone who has the monty witch scene, mental age of at least 12. It’s not much, but improvements should be gradual. If you elect someone with a mental age of more than 18, each of those that voted for theory, this person will be presented with a certificate of sanity and monty witch, mediocre intelligence.
9. If you always sue people, your best musicians may leave, as they will become bankrupt. Michael Jackson and Eminem are evidence that all your successful people just get sued all the time. With this it is no surprise that no-one has an IQ of above 60, as the ones that do have to True give their money to those that don’t. 10. You are not Irish. The real Irish get pissed off when you claim that you are once a year. Python Witch Scene? If you insist on this habit, you may become part of Ireland, but that will mean that you have to learn English, rather than create American (see clause 1). 11. Theory? We don’t have handguns; our guns are used for hunting animals not people. Python Witch? You should adapt to do likewise.
This will reduce your death toll, and maybe some of the intelligent Americans may survive. 12. Thank you for your co-operation. We believe if you do the above, your average IQ may rise by 50%. You may now continue watching Teletubbies. PS You’re welcome for Iraq, though the Black Watch isn't too happy at the moment. It's a Scottish regiment, not a Scotch regiment (see clause 1) PPS Music is the one thing you’ve got right, stop suing the good artists. On second thoughts …. Keep on killing each other with handguns and keep eating burgers and mona lisa clothing, pizzas washed down with cola.
That way, the combined mortality due to shootings, obesity and diabetes will render the American dilemma obsolete long before the scene, next US Election is due. (2004) ELECTION NOTICE. To the citizens of the former United States of America, In the event of inability to nominate a sentient candidate for of the text, President of the USA, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your nationhood before you can once again make fools of yourself when it comes to monty witch actually voting. To save you the creative supply, effort of deciding whether your chads are hanging or merely pregnant, Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II intends to resume monarchial duties over all states, effective immediately. To help the Royal coffers, she intends to monty python realise the land value by disposing of the territory in parcels as follows:- Texas will formally become part of Mexico; this formalises the current arrangement as the the odyssey analysis, state is already a defacto part of Mexico. We hope the formalisation of its status will improve the python, cuisine.
To give the Mexicans more lebensraum Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma and Missouri will also become part of le belle merci, Mexico. Monty Witch? Alaska will be given back to Russia. Inhabitants of the aforementioned states are advised to enrol on language courses, although considering how badly they speak English, their new landlords might resent having their languages mangled in mona lisa clothing, a similar fashion. Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, the Dakotas, Nebraska, Minnesota and Iowa will all be given to witch scene Canada and become part of the British Commonwealth. Analysis? The majority of monty scene, Canada's population is crammed up against their warmer southern border, so we believe it only fair they get a bit of breathing room.
Inhabitants of those regions will need to adler's theory get used to things such as Mounties, good manners and speaking French. Louisiana, Mississippi, Arkansas and python scene, Alabama, which her Majesty considers somewhat backward, will be renamed Arcadia and given to the Quebecois as an independent country. We have been to Quebec and noticed that it gets a bit chilly and mona lisa clothing, they are always petitioning for independence, so we've decided to give it to them. All lawyers and political correctness campaigners will be transported to Nevada. Monty Python Witch? So much of America is run by lawyers, for mona lisa clothing, the benefit of lawyers, that they are considered a degenerate separate race and will be given their own country. There will be strict border controls and they will not be permitted passports. By the monty witch, time the lawyers have finished suing each other over the odyssey analysis, what to call the new country, they will have died out. Political correctness campaigners will be too busy with circumlocutions to ever get around to breeding. Elsewhere, lawyers will largely be replaced by something currently missing from American society - common sense. The reason the USA has become so litigious is a ploy by its real ruling class - lawyers - to remain rich and in control. Florida will be given to Israel, since its inhabitants are already so obsessed with what goes on in that country.
When technology permits, it will be air-freighted to the Middle East. Scene? Your hazy grasp of world geography means you probably won't notice anything except the lack of regular tropical storms. California will be given its independence as a gay state. Feel free to creative supply paint it pink, rename it or whatever you like, but don't get too attached to python any seafront properties as another couple of quakes will see most of it fall into le belle, the sea. Her Majesty rather fancies Hawaii as a royal retreat and python scene, a playboy paradise for Princes William and Harry. It will make a change from all those skiing holidays at Klosters. After all, the An Out of Body Essay, Queen and Duke are not getting any younger and would prefer to over-winter in warmer climes. The remaining states, i.e. Python? those not mentioned individually, will be turned over to le belle sans native American rule. In the interest of fairness, descendants of early colonists will get their beads back. Anyone descended from python scene, immigrant stock, which is most of you, will be moved into a reservation.
We suggest Manhattan Island, though it might get a bit crowded. Thank you for your co-operation and have a nice day. It was inevitable that the Revocation would do the rounds again in 2004. The Odyssey Analysis? In addition to the land-sale, there were 2 main versions in circulation and a number of witch, minor variations of An Out of Body True Essay, each of python, these. The main variants are pick-and-mix versions of the previous election's efforts. However, being an old joke it did not take the world be storm as it did in 2000. (2012) AFTER RE-ELECTION OF BARACK OBAMA. A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN. To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II,
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in of the cave text, the Oxford English Dictionary.) Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. Monty Scene? To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to dame merci spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the monty scene, letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to creative supply raise your vocabulary to python scene acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary'). 2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an the odyssey analysis, unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. Witch? We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.' 3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. 4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. Creative Supply? If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to python witch scene shoot grouse. 5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. 7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of of Body True Essay, roughly $10/US gallon. Monty Python Witch Scene? Get used to it. 8. Adler's Theory? You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar. 9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and scene, European brews of lisa, known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer.
They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for python scene, them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of alfred adler's, further confusion. 10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and python witch scene, a Funeral was an experience akin to mona having one's ears removed with a cheese grater. 11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to python witch scene American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an theory, event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries. 13.. You must tell us who killed JFK.
It's been driving us mad. 14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776). 15. Python Witch? Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. The Odyssey? with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen! PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)! Brief History of witch, this Political Parody. The 4 item Revocation of Experience: or Flase? Essay, Independence was posted 8 th November by Alan Baxter (Rochester, UK) on an internal newsgroup of a defence company operating in the UK, US and Australia. It grew to a 10 item, then a 13 item, list. Newsgroup subscriber Peter Rieden (Farnborough, UK) mailed his Revocation of Independence to usenet on 15 th November and other subscribers to monty python witch scene the internal newsgroup passed it on by email and newsgroup. Rieden doesn't claim authorship of the of the cave text, various versions currently in circulation, but is a co-author of the most widespread version (later recycled in 2004). He claimed to monty have received a 10 item version by email from a colleague at adler's theory Warton, UK and rehashed it into a 13 point version which he posted to usenet. Rieden noted that he got the rest of his ideas from an monty scene, item on the BBC Radio 4 Today program (06:30 to An Out Experience: or Flase? 09:00 morning news program). It is possible that the version forwarded by Baxter and that received and extended by Rieden was an item emailed to a few friends by Dan Fox on the 8th November.
In May 2001 some 6 months after the Revocation of Independence did the rounds, Dan Fox, a public relations consultant from London and python witch, self-confessed political junkie, claimed to be the ultimate originator of the True, Revocation of python witch scene, Independence. He claimed to text have written his Revocation email (a list of items) in the early hours of November the 8 th and python witch scene, emailed it to 13 people in the US. This would account for the different (and terser) list published in the USA. Within days Fox and his 13 email contacts received amended versions from friends throughout Europe and North America, though he claims they were clearly based on his original. However, the Revocation had taken on a life of its own and was evolving into the odyssey, a quite different list. In April 2005, Kevin O'Connor also claimed to be the original author of the 10 point version while at monty python university. He claims to have mailed it to a few friends and had no idea how it got onto the internet. O'Connor's claimed 10 point version is equivalent to the Rieden 13 point version, minus the three items relating to analysis sea salt, bitter (beer) and gasoline prices. Python Witch? O'Connor claims it was an original take on the Bush/Gore election, with a variety of old running jokes from the odyssey, his Senior School days when he hung around with a witty (and jokingly anti-French) crowd who had an American for an English Teacher. It is python witch scene, apparent that the various terms of the Revocation occurred to various contributors, prompted by the US election and by a long-standing British cultural joke.
Fox's (or O'Connor's) emailed version may have brought a simmering British joke to boiling point. Once let loose by email, its progress and evolution become impossible to trace - items were added, edited or lost. Creative Supply? Various forms were soon widespread throughout usenet, on monty python websites and in inboxes. There were several identifiable major and adler's theory, minor variants. Monty Python Witch? The day after Rieden's usenet posting (although by then it had already leaked onto usenet via other routes), the Revocation was emailed out le belle dame as a joke-of-the-day. Upon a few more refining comments (added by other individuals) it became the article which was emailed around the world. The first 4 points of the terse American 15 point version are identical to those in the Baxter version and may owe more to Fox's original than to the Baxter/Rieden version, but its spread was hindered by cultural references that mean little to non-Americans e.g. Python Witch Scene? outside of the USA, relatively few know what the Washington Monument or Lincoln Memorial are.
Those items were soon lost from the list. On Thursday 16 th it appeared on lisa the BBC News Website. On Sunday 19 th November, it was mentioned on the 09:00 UK ITV News. On 20 th November I received (by company internal email) the first of monty scene, many responses - a Notice of Annexation of the UK by the US. On Tuesday 21 st , the mona clothing, email version of Revocation was read out in monty witch scene, full on BBC Radio Merseyside and creative supply, appeared on the front page of the python witch, prestigious UK newspaper, The Times in the article Who Wants to Be A President? which read: The latest bumper sticker reads 'Screw this I'm moving to Canada' and an internet proclamation suggests that as Americas 224 year experiment with independence seems to be in Experience: True Essay, chaos, it may be time for Her Majesty to take over again On 20 th November Rieden admitted that his role in the writing (or rewriting) of the Revocation had proven to be something of an embarrassment to him.
He had received hundreds of emails from amused usenet subscribers. There had not been a single negative response. By this time, recipients were adding their own personal thoughts to the Notice of Revocation leading to scene multiple versions in circulation. The Revocation had become email-lore and references (citations) and excerpts were appearing in on-line and hard-copy publications. Most versions stabilised at 10 or 12 items, though the of Body True Essay, content varied. The 15 item version at the top of this page is a compilation of 5 or 6 different versions. The following response was posted to sci.military.naval on 21 st Nov as being from the Supreme Court of scene, Florida, but was less well-received by Brits on the newsgroup and did not make it into email-lore: To the An Out True or Flase?, imperialist British colonizers - That 'z' will have to go to python start with. In the light of your indecision over joining a common European Currency - There's no indecision - the answer was NO. You already almost speak our language - It think you have that backwards.
Princess Diana will be declared a saint. - Too late. Look up aluminum [. . .] we discovered it, we named it, you are mispronouncing it. - Nope Aluminium was discovered in 1808 by Sir Humphrey Davy . (NB: Remember that American film-makers rewrote wartime history so that the alfred adler's theory, US were the codebreakers, not the UK with the Enigma machine.) Resistance is futile. Just ask Hawaii [. . .] Norman fops. - Perhaps you should visit Wales, briefly. And in order to avoid supporting third world countries and welfare states [. . .] Hong Kong immediately. - Once you're done in Wales, you may convalesce in the Falklands. Enjoy your vacation. Wouldn't South Georgia be more appropriate. If you wanted it pronounced 'Eddinburra' you have spelled it that way in the first place. - Take that up with the Scots - they will demand statehood in their own right or there will be claymores brandished in the Capitol. Scotch characters will wear plaid - Scotch is a drink - that sort of mistake will be painful if you make it in Sauciehall Street.
The British film industry . . What British Film Industry? You will learn your new national anthem The Star Spangled Banner. - Do you have Gujarati, Hindi and Farsi versions? It shall be sung every morning at kindergarten, high school, university and your places of python, work. You might want to research the history of what happened when Nissan required workers to alfred adler's theory sing the company song. The British working man can be very inventive when it comes to finding Obscene words for such anthems (Note: Brits have already written obscene words to the US anthem)
If it doesn't require 45 pounds of python scene, padding, it isn't football. - Well just because its too dangerous for Americans the rest of us don’t have to creative supply wimp out. You should also stop playing cricket. Americans can't understand the rules. - Perhaps you might care to wonder why every Peasant in the India subcontinent can figure out witch something you can't. Any match which takes longer than 90 minutes will be declared a draw. Clothing? - Right unlike that well known short simple game called Baseball. We will help you to monty witch scene blow up your Houses of Parliament - I've a better idea, lets burn down the White House AGAIN. Roundabouts will be banned. - Better rip up the rotaries in Mass first (Note: the first roundabout in creative supply, Florida split the monty python scene, population into 2 parts - those who have had a wreck and those who haven't encountered the roundabout yet) You will also learn the difference between crackers, cookies and creative supply, biscuits to avoid causing unnecessary confusion to mainland Americans. - We know the difference - you have a lot to learn. On 23rd November, when everyone thought that the joke was finished, an Australian response appeared on python scene sci.military.naval, posted by David Shaw (it followed an England vs Australia rugby match). It was understandably, popular in Australia but its circulation was limited as the sentiments and language were quite forthright and some of the topics are not well understood outside of Australia. None of the responses are as widespread as the creative supply, Fox/O'Connor/Baxter/Rieden version; in fact they are seen a deliberate attempts to cash in on the popularity of the Revocation proving that deliberate attempts to create urban legends and cult emails are rarely successful. Various other notices followed in the same vein, but were not widespread.
Soon after that, the Revocation seemed to python die - although it would later turn out to be only the odyssey, sleeping. In 2004, it started all over monty python scene, again, but was largely confined to usenet, bulletin boards and of Body Experience: True Essay, blogs (blogs were uncommon in 2000). It was first spotted on 4 th November on usenet, but either enthusiasm had waned or the political climate no longer supported the joke because it wasn't as widespread or popular as in 2000. There were 2 main versions, one of which is the same as the 15 point collation at the top of this webpage. The most widespread American response was also the same as in 2000, though a second, original, response also appeared as did a British rejection notice i.e. on second thoughts we don't want you back! During 2004, it was also wrongly attributed to English comedian John Cleese and was circulated crediting him as the python witch scene, author. Cleese did not write it, the version was a rehash of the earlier Fox/O'Connor/Rieden/Baxter version already in wide circulation since November 2000.
Note: Internet/usenet/email humour has now been dubbed e-lore, e-folklore and mona lisa, e-tradition folklore and is treated as a folklore tradition in its own right. Monty Scene? The other traditions (modes of transmission) are oral tradition and written tradition. E-tradition folklore is notable for its rapid proliferation, including across national boundaries, and its rapid mutation.
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76 Incredibly Accurate Pet Peeves That Will Drive. You. Python Scene. Nuts. How annoying is everything? Very. Clothing. From colleagues' obnoxious behavior to strangers' inexcusable ways, we've polled The Huffington Post newsroom to find out monty, exactly what drives everyone crazy. Sleep better tonight knowing that your side-eye is not alone.
1. Loud chewing, or people chewing with their mouths open. Theory. 2. When people are late or make me run late because I'm waiting for them. 3. People who are chronically late . A one-off I can maybe understand, but it's incredibly rude to think your time is more valuable than the 15 to 30 minutes you're making me wait. 4. People who scuff their feet as they walk down the street, especially if they're wearing UGGs. 5. People smoking electronic cigarettes around non-smokers. Smoking is smoking. 6. People who chew gum loudly and attempt to monty witch scene, blow bubbles in confined quarters.
8. People who walk into the subway and stand right in mona lisa front of the door . 9. People who don't cover their mouths when they cough . 10. People who discuss being on a diet while you're in the middle of eating something unhealthy. 11. People who say ew to the food on python witch, your plate. 12. People who eat food off your plate without asking first. 13. When people ask if they can have some of your food as they make a grab for it . 14. People who use redundant hashtags on Instagram, like #me #human #girl #selfie. 15. People who say no offense as if it downplays anything insulting they say.
16. People who say literally when what they mean is not literal. 17. People who woo when their favorite song comes on. 18. Hearing people bite their nails . 19. People that clip their nails at work , while sitting at their desk. 20.
When groups of people take up the entire side of the street . MOVE. Mona Lisa. 21. People who walk slowly or stop suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk. 22. People who text like they're gchatting , sending OMG then How did you know! then LOL within seconds.
23. Line cutters . There are social rules you must follow. 24. People who don't know how to get through airport security efficiently . It's been 15 years. You know you have to monty python witch, take your goddamn shoes off and can't have liquids and get your computer out of of Body True your bag. 25. Monty Scene. People who stand on the left side of an escalator . Right is for standing!
Left for walking! 26. Alfred Adler's. When you let a car cut in python scene front of you and dame sans merci, they don't wave to witch scene, thank you . 28. Misspelling my name when it's right there in the email staring you in mona the face. 29.
When dog owners leave their dog's poop on witch, the sidewalk. 31. Saying Let's make plans! then acting surprised when I try to follow up and make actual plans. 32. Online stores that charge for shipping . 33. The Allegory Cave Text. Food that only pretends to be organic . 34. People who don't see age or race . 35. Gluten-free fanatics who have no medical justification to python witch, avoid gluten. 37. People who say something will give you all the feels.
38. People who talk over you when you're clearly still in the middle of the sentence. 39. When people say on accident. It's BY accident. 40.
Passive aggressive behavior . If you have something you want to say, just say it. 41. Creative Supply. When you can hear someone eating their cereal . 42. Monty Witch Scene. Strangers on the subway who choose to listen to their music through the creative supply, speakers , instead of headphones. 43. Monty. When you're running after the bus, you lock eyes with the bus driver in the rear view mirror, and they still drive straight past you . The Odyssey. 44. When you open the door for someone and not only do they not thank you, they also glide straight past you as if people should open doors for them . 45. Mis-pluralized last names on holiday cards . Do not expect me to keep, read or even acknowledge your card if you sign it The Green's. 46. When people call Latinos Spanish. Most of monty python witch scene us weren't born in Spain.
47. People who groom themselves on public transportation . 48. When people repeatedly hit the elevator button , as if that'll make the elevator arrive sooner. Of Body Experience: Or Flase?. 49. When people shove past you on monty python witch scene, the street and say excuse you! 50. This non-apology: I'm sorry you feel that way. 51. Alfred. When people spend more time on their phone during dinner or brunch than they do interacting with the people present at the table. 52.
People who sing out loud out of nowhere in python witch scene a crowd of people. 53. The reply-all that asks to be taken off of an email thread. Creative Supply. Oh, you were getting too many irrelevant emails and it got annoying? So now you're putting one more on the damn chain so everybody else can suffer? Great, thanks. 54.
People with an inflated sense of their own importance . Monty Python Witch. 55. Theory. People who say no problem! or no worries! in response to thank you. Python Witch. The appropriate thing to say in return is, You're welcome. 56. People who seal a ziplock bag without removing the the allegory cave, air first . 57. People who say myself instead of me or I. 59. Clapping at the end of a movie in theater. Witch Scene. 61.
People who don't silence their phone when they play a game in public. 62. Receiving emails from a colleague with my boss CC'd . Dame. 63. People who take selfies when there are other people around to take the picture. 64.
When people say cool beans . 65. When people go to irrational lengths to keep their middle name a secret . 66. People who say you should have been there when you clearly weren't there. 67. People who say this is she when someone on the phone asks for them. Monty Scene. Just say Yes. 68. Companies that post 14 Instagrams in a row because they form a larger image on the odyssey analysis, their account.
No one goes to your account page. 69. Python Witch Scene. People who abbreviate things that don't need to be shortened. 70. Colleagues that tell you they ate something really bad yesterday and should really stay home. Lisa. Just say you're taking a sick day. Nobody needs to hear the details. Monty. 71.
People who say eh, you know when you casually ask them how they're doing. A) I don't know, B) I probably don't care. The Allegory Cave. 72. Public display of affection . 73. People who send emails longer than three sentences , or one paragraph. Monty Python Scene. Call or explain in person. Who has time to read through all of that? 74.
People who complain that they don't have time to read emails or tweets or know what's up because they're too busy , implying that you're a loser with too much spare time. Analysis. 75. Coffee that costs more than $2 . 76. People who take home milk from the communal fridge at work. Scene. Nope.
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Compare Contrast Book To Movie Essays and Research Papers. Of Mice and Men Compare and Contrast The book , Of Mice and Men by monty scene, John Steinbeck, is about two men named George . and Lennie who are living in the time of the theory, Great Depression. They travel together and after they get themselves into trouble in the city of Weed, they moved to work on a ranch. There is also a movie , “Of Mice and Men,” that is based off of the book . There are many themes in the story, one of witch them being power. The movie differs slightly from the of the text, book in the fact that it has fewer. Great Depression , John Steinbeck , Of Mice and python witch, Men 945 Words | 3 Pages.
Compare and Contrast, Bartleby, The Scrivener; book and mona clothing, movie. is increasingly true in our world today. Many movie adaptations of great classic stories and monty witch scene, literature works have been created with great . visuals. Question is, do the adaptations really carry the same meaning and weight of the original written works or are the adaptions meant to creative supply, open new perspectives for python witch, the audiences? This paper will, through the examining the of Body Essay, settings, character, tone and storylines, compare and contrast the book version and monty witch, movie adaptation of the classic short story Bartleby. Bartleby, the Scrivener , Dead letter office , Fiction 1520 Words | 5 Pages. Compare and Contrast Life of Pi book and the allegory text, movie. LOP Compare and Contrast Essay Introduction: Was Life of Pi a true story of monty a boy stuck out in of Body or Flase?, sea for 7 months with a Bengal . tiger, or all a lie that constantly toyed with our brains? This was a question that always kept readers of the book and viewers of the monty witch scene, movie perplexed about which story was the mona lisa, accurate one and is what made it such a success. Python Witch Scene! In the movie , Ang Lee directs the the odyssey analysis, story with his own take on a vast variety of visual details. Witch Scene! The book however has many contrasting ideas and themes.
Canada Reads , Canongate Books , Difference 1090 Words | 3 Pages. Compare and Contrast Movie and Book of Fahrenheit 451. V. Le Belle Dame Sans Merci! P. Monty Python Witch! ENG 214 Fahrenheit 451 “ Books can not be killed by An Out Experience: True, fire. People die, but books never die. No man and no force can . Monty Scene! abolish memory. In this war, we know, books are weapons. And it is a part of the odyssey your dedication always to monty python, make them weapons for man's freedom.” -Franklin D. Adler's Theory! Roosevelt Exactly these are the words that fueled the story of Fahrenheit 451. Fahrenheit 451 is monty python, a story that was written through a novel by Ray Bradbury and produced into a movie shortly after directed by the odyssey analysis, Francois. Dystopia , Fahrenheit 451 , Francois Truffaut 1260 Words | 4 Pages. The Green Mile - Book/Movie Contrast Essay.
Compare / Contrast essay Books filled with suspense and thrills are often hard to scene, portray on screen. When Frank . Darabont projected Stephen King’s novel, The Green Mile, into a movie , he somewhat failed to adapt the major themes and ideas in mona lisa clothing, the book , which focuses on a person’s journey to the electric chair and death penalty during the great depression. The changed genre from serial thriller to drama in the motion picture greatly affected the scenario and vivid details of the novella and therefore. Capital punishment , Film , Frank Darabont 960 Words | 3 Pages. The Comparison and Contrast Essay the Book and the Movie. COMPARISON AND CONTRAST ESSAY THE BOOK AND THE MOVIE Two weeks ago I finished . reading the book “The Firm” by John Grisham. It was really interesting for me to read this story because of the unpredictable plot and the bright characters. At that moment I thought that the book had a really fantastic ending. Monty! But when I saw the film about “The Firm”, I was surprised that the book and the movie could be so different. I was amazed with the last episodes of the movie because. Antagonist , Crime , John Grisham 929 Words | 3 Pages.
Compare and Contrast- ``in the Heat of the Night``; Movie or Booke. Compare and Contrast Essay – “In the Heat of the Night”; Movie or Book ? By Johanna “In The Heat of the odyssey analysis . the Night” is a gripping murder mystery story that incorporates a major issue of the time it was written at; racism. The original novel (published in monty, 1965), written by creative supply, John Ball, is python witch scene, a story of Virgil Tibbs, a Negro homicide investigator. The Allegory! The death of monty python witch scene orchestra-conductor Enrico Mantoli and alfred adler's theory, a series of other events lead up to him in charge of a murder investigation in monty python, Wells, Carolina. Le Belle Dame Sans! This is much to. Discrimination , Gordon Douglas , In the monty python witch, Heat of the An Out of Body Experience: or Flase?, Night 1016 Words | 3 Pages. Subtitle PP Presentation: General Information on Pronoun Case | * Ocean’s Eleven Original (with captions) 3 minute video trailer from the original . movie filmed in 1960 * Ocean’s Eleven Remake (with captions) Now fast forward to python, the year 2001 and watch this trailer from the remake * Lecture - Compare / Contrast Essay * Lecture Compare / Contrast Essay - Text Transcript of le belle sans merci Audio * Readings Readings | * Find out more about coherence and transitions between ideas. * Introduction.
Bruce Catton , English language , Internet 467 Words | 3 Pages. Compare and Contrast paper After reading a book and then watching the movie based on that . book , generally people will say they feel disappointed because the movie lacks its heart and substance. Even though the movie The Scarlet Letter, directed by Roland Joffe, is based on python scene, Nathaniel Hawthorne’s novel, it offers different characters and plot than the of Body Experience: True Essay, novel. However, the book captivates people more. In both, the story takes place in Boston, Massachusetts, in seventeenth century. The Scarlet Letter. Hester Prynne , John Winthrop , Nathaniel Hawthorne 2289 Words | 7 Pages. Writing A Compare And Contrast Paragraph. Writing A Comparison / Contrast Paragraph Comparison? shows similarities between persons, places, things, ideas, or situations. . Contrast ? points out the differences between persons, places, things, ideas, or situations. Two Basic Methods for Organizing Comparison / Contrast ? Paragraphs Block Method 1. If you let A and B stand for the two things (subjects) being compared, then you can use the ? block method? in which you tell all about monty python scene, A, then tell all about An Out Experience: Essay, B. Thus you discuss A in a block and B. Difference , Lecture , Paragraph 820 Words | 2 Pages.
Compare and Contrast Essay English. ? Compare and Contrast Essay It is hard to believe that perfection has such high standards these days. People are expected to . Monty Python! look and act perfect all the dame sans, time. And if they are not, they are judged by society. It is not fair for people to be judged by their characteristics or by how they look. In the monty witch scene, Chrysalids people are literally judged on analysis, how they look, walk, talk, and live their life. It is the same way in monty, the movie Gattaca. Alfred! The people of Gattaca have very high standards. They are expected to. English-language films 1078 Words | 3 Pages.
Compare and Contrast Every day there are thousands of compare and contrasting activities, events and monty witch scene, even . conversations. Le Belle! We as humans obviously do this as obvious examples like comparing types off food, or clothes, or subliminally like acting a certain way in python witch scene, front of the opposite sex to be a suitable mate. The compare and contrasting can be seen in animals too, not just humans. Animals like male birds try to alfred theory, build nests for female birds to be picked as mates, and python witch, then the female birds compare the. Audience , Audience theory , Female 1024 Words | 3 Pages.
A Separate Peace: Differences between the Book and the Movie. ?Colin Goodman 1/14/14 Compare Contrast Comparing and le belle dame, contrasting t?Colin Goodman 1/14/14 Compare . Contrast Comparing and contrasting the difference between the book and movie of python witch “A separate piece”. I personally think that the movie was much more fun to watch, but the book was better over-all. Sans! some of the monty scene, reasons I did not like the movie are Brinker, and the way he seemed much more nice. I also did not like how Gene did not go to Leper’s house and how Leper came. Comparison 492 Words | 6 Pages. November 24, 2013 Professor Lyn Megow English 100.02 Compare and Contrast of the analysis, Namesake In The Namesake based on . the book and movie by Jhumpa Lahiri, there are several events and scenes that are interpreted differently throughout the film and book . The book is monty python witch, based on Gogol Ganguli, the son of immigrant parents Ashoke and Ashima Ganguli who struggles with his double identity and rebellion towards his family. The movie is quite different with its focus on the parents and their relationship. Interpersonal relationship , Irrfan Khan , Jhumpa Lahiri 906 Words | 3 Pages. Compare and Contrast Essay on Twilight.
( Book ) | ( movie ) | * Book explains more about le belle dame sans, bella and where she is from arizona, sunny vilie, attends . high school, and her mom just married a pro baseball player and how she is a new changed person after she remarried from bellas father then mentions how she is getting ready to python, go stay with her dad in arizona | * The movie start with her getting in the car leaving to organ with her dad and doesn’t explain anything about who she is alfred adler's theory, | * The book says less about her and her dad’s. Bella Swan , Edward Cullen , English-language films 1600 Words | 4 Pages. Mice and monty witch, Men - Compare and Contrast. Compare and Contrast Many movies are derived from novels, and dame sans merci, all of them have major differences from the book . version. While there are many similarities in the movie and the book Of Mice and Men, there are many differences also. Witch! Some differences are presented through the characters, scenes, and the way the actors play their roles. Senise wanted to get the story done within a time limit, so it was less detailed than the book . In Steinbeck's novel, character image plays a crucial role in the story. Great Depression , John Steinbeck , Novella 1367 Words | 3 Pages. Brokeback Mountain compare and contrast. First, I applaud the the odyssey, movie for daring to tell a story that nobody else presumed creating.
Even in 2005, this was a pretty prohibited thing to . Python Witch Scene! discuss. Sans! To its credit, the movie follows the original story fairly close, but a details were left out monty python witch, that made all the difference. The short story Brokeback Mountain (1997) written by Annie Proulx received a lot of attention when it was first published in the New Yorker. The story is An Out of Body Experience: True Essay, about the relationship between Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar, two cowboys. Ang Lee , Brokeback Mountain , Heath Ledger 866 Words | 3 Pages. Troy Movie and Illiad Compare and Contrast. Troy.
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Antagonist , Character , Nazi Germany 997 Words | 3 Pages. Alexander Low ENC1101 Date: 12/2/12 Assignment: Compare / Contrast Forrest Gump: Movie Better Than . Monty Witch Scene! Book Have you ever watched a movie that was made off of a book , but the creative supply, movie was better? Well if you have ever watched and read Forrest Gump, you would find out that the movie has well surpassed the book . In both stories the main character Forrest Gump goes through a series of misfortunate events that eventually turn him into an American hero and millionaire. In each event of his life he. 1061 Words | 3 Pages.
habitually and carefully neat and clean can make for an interesting topic in monty python witch scene, a comparison and contrast essay. Dave Barry compares . the of the cave text, differences of how women and men clean in his compare and contrast essay, Batting Clean- Up and monty python witch scene, Striking out. In Suzanne Britt's compare and An Out Experience: Essay, contrast essay, Neat People vs. Sloppy People she compares the differences of personalities between Sloppy people and neat people. Both essays compare cleanliness in python scene, one way or another however they both have differences regarding their. Cleanliness , Comedy , Defence mechanism 1482 Words | 4 Pages. Compare/Contrast to dame sans, Kill a Mockingbird Movie Book. December 2010 Revised Essay #3: Compare / Contrast To Kill a Mockingbird Book vs. Monty Python! Movie To Kill a . Mockingbird, by Harper Lee, is clothing, a story about Jem and Scout Finch, who are being raised by python witch scene, their father in Maycomb, Alabama, during the creative supply, Great Depression. The book shows us that Jem and Scout’s childhood was rich with life experiences.
In contrast , the movie version, by Robert Mulligan, excludes many important life experiences. Several events in python witch, the book are excluded from the movie , but should be included. . Atticus Finch , Great Depression , Harper Lee 645 Words | 2 Pages. Jimmy Ji Mrs. Coleman ESL 33 Compare and the odyssey, Contrast Essay 27 Oct. 2010 Pursuit of Dream In . this competitive world, it almost seems indispensable for people to at least pursue one thing to survive. Does it mean that people all have to strive to monty python witch, accomplish something? Or does pursuing actually bring any enhancements or happiness to people’s lives?
The answer might be very debatable because pursuing something might not be always ended with a great triumph or satisfaction. 1985 albums , Denis Waitley , Dream 980 Words | 3 Pages. Compare and Contrast Call of the Wild Essay. CALL OF THE WILD The book and the movie of The Call of the Wild are both similar yet different. Like any movie . Creative Supply! based on a book , the movie of The Call of the Wild presents different characters and events than the book so it can be unique and enjoyable. In this essay, I’ll like to monty, compare and contrast the book and the movie . The book and the movie of of the cave text The Call of the Wild are fairly similar.
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Although the director did manage to keep some of plot the . same, there are still not as many similarities as differences in the odyssey, the book and movie . To start off, the director did keep most of the characters looks and monty python scene, personalities the same in the movie as in lisa, the book . Some differences were that in the book Skeeter is big and monty python scene, tall, but the movie has her slender and average height, if not shorter. Hilly is portrayed in the book as a dark haired. Alcohol intoxication , Difference , English-language films 834 Words | 2 Pages. Compare and Contrast Economic Market Systems In differentiating between market structures one has to mona lisa clothing, compare and . contrast public goods, private goods, common resources, and python scene, natural monopolies. Theory! All of these are major factors that need to be considered. Public goods are those goods in which all of society benefit from and monty witch scene, are equally shared among everyone within. These types of goods can be consumed simultaneously by several individuals without diminishing the value of consumption to any individual. AltaVista , Bing , Google 2751 Words | 7 Pages. RUNNING HEAD: COMPARE AND CONTRAST ESSAY Compare and creative supply, Contrast Essay Amber Garoutte Intro to . College Writing Compare and Contrast Essay In the last decade, online learning has become an overwhelmingly popular choice for students who want to continue with their higher education.
Online schools, like traditional schools, offer students the opportunity to study various subjects and earn a degree, anywhere that there is a computer. The convenience and independence of online learning. Distance education , Education , High school 836 Words | 3 Pages. Compare -and- Contrast Essay Comparison/ Contrast Organizer Directions: Fill in monty scene, the chart first. Then write your . title, introductory sentence, topic sentences, and conclusion sentence. Alfred! Title __________________________________________ Introductory Sentence __________________________ ______________________________________________ Topic Sentence ________________________________ ______________________________________________ Same Food: 1. Food: 1. 2. 2. Scene! Topic Sentence ________________________________. Love , Milk , Pudding 535 Words | 6 Pages. Into the cave text, Wild: Book vs.
Movie Into the Wild happens to be my favorite book , and also one of my favorite movies. . Most people like one or the other, but I think the two complement each other because of the varied stances taken on the main character himself. In case you’re not familiar, Into the python witch, Wild is based on the true story of Chris McCandless who, after graduating with honors from dame merci, Emory University in 1990, gave his entire savings of monty witch twenty-four thousand dollars to charity and set off following. Alaska , Christopher McCandless , Into the le belle sans merci, Wild 950 Words | 3 Pages. ENG.2 5/23/2011 The Road The Road was both a phenomenal book and film. Python! While reading The Road I was both intrigued and interested as to . how Hollywood would portray this story, and after seeing the movie I was impressed with how closely the film followed the book . Le Belle Merci! Though the book was enticing and unusual the movie quickly surpassed the scene, book in my opinion. Though the adler's theory, movie followed the book closely, there were some differences such as the amount of flashbacks the father has, the illusion of hope. Cormac McCarthy , Film , Kodi Smit-McPhee 922 Words | 3 Pages. ? COMPARE / CONTRAST English Composition I Dr.
Jodi Scala 02/07/2014 . Scene! COMPARE / CONTRAST 02/07/2014 In the world today things have majorly and severely changed. On the one hand we no longer have slavery, but on the other there is the allegory of the cave, another type of witch scene slavery going on in cooperate businesses. Mona Lisa Clothing! In these two essays I chose and plan. Corporation , Doublespeak , I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings 963 Words | 5 Pages. ?Name here Compare and Contrast October 16, 2011 Debra Pylypiw, Art 111-100-311 “The Alba Madonna” (1510) by monty, Raphael Approx. . diameter 37 ? in. ; framed 54 x 53 ? in. Oil on panel transferred to canvas National Gallery of Art, Washington D.C. Andrew W. Mellon Collection Viewed in A World of Art (6th Edition) by Henry M. Sayre “Deposition” (1435-38) by Rogier Van der Weyden Approx. 7ft. 1 5/8 in x 8 ft.
7 1/8 in. Oil on wood Museo del Prado, Madrid Viewed in A World of Art (6th Edition) by Henry. History of painting , Jan van Eyck , John the Baptist 999 Words | 5 Pages. Outsiders: Compare Contrast Movie to Book. since I read this book . A movie , a death, a church and friendship, The Outsiders has it all. A story of le belle brotherhood, . friendship, and witch scene, of a murder, a boy and his friend are caught in a murder, they have to escape form getting caught by of the cave text, the police, and so they run away, starting their journey of friendship and hardships.
After reading the novel and watching the movie I noticed some differences, I'll start with Ponyboy, in the novel pony boy is slapped by his brother, but in the movie , he is pushed. Difference , English-language films , Film 563 Words | 2 Pages. seat. I think when you take a look at various horror films and monty python scene, compare them; you will notice an array of different scare tactics/methods. You . An Out Of Body Experience: Essay! will also notice many cliche ideas that a lot horror flicks have in common. I will point these ideas out in detail, when I compare The Dawn of The Dead horror flick released in monty python witch scene, 1978, with the True, one released in 2004; Two and a half decades later. The original Dawn of The Dead is a terrific movie . Witch Scene! I will start off by the odyssey, saying I think the original is a little scarier. Film , George A. Romero , Horror and terror 1242 Words | 3 Pages. ? Compare and Contrast Lesson Plan: Part One and Two Introduction to Topic and Guided Practice. Materials Needed- A granola bar . and a candy bar; and/or a one dollar bill and a quarter, Venn Diagram worksheet Compare and Contrast lesson plan activity time: 30-120 minutes, depending on use of optional reinforcement and advanced exercises. If all sections are used, lesson can be divided into multiple, separate sessions if desired.
Objective of Compare and Contrast lesson plan. Candy , Candy bar , Candy bars 1257 Words | 5 Pages. Compare amp; Contrast Essay Victoria Riley COMM/155 February 25, 2012 Dr. Jackie E. Smalls Compare amp; . Contrast Essay The zombie apocalypse is coming, The Walking Dead series and Resident Evil movies have played into the public’s fear of python witch turning into the living dead. Over the past 20 years the horror genre of movies and television has exceptionally rose in popularity.
Movies like; Zombieland, 28 Days Later and Resident Evil have quite a following. “Television has started. Chris Redfield , Claire Redfield , Nemesis 1147 Words | 4 Pages. Looking at basic formal analysis of art work we can compare and sans, contrast the formal elements. Monty Witch! Such things as form, subject matter . Of Body Essay! content brings art to python witch scene, life. Line, color and texture give us a mix of mona clothing styles from python, abstract to representational, canvas to clay. Art will give us a new perceptive and apparition for the world we look at daily. One of the most interesting sculptures I have found is, by creative supply, Kara Walker, Insurrection (Our Tools were Rudimentary)1 (307). The first thing to stand out, this. Chartres Cathedral , Claude Monet , Color 927 Words | 3 Pages.
but open closer examination, they do possess some similarities. Monty Python Scene! Although they are different in the areas of the time period, the plot, and the characters, . they are similar in the areas of the allegory of the cave text having violence, having family problems, drug issues in the movie . Monty! The time period of the two films is obviously different. The Godfather is a 1972 American crime film directed by Francis Ford Coppola and produced by Albert S. Ruddy from a screenplay by Mario Puzo and Coppola. Creative Supply! Based on monty python witch, Puzo's 1969 novel of the. Corleone family , Francis Ford Coppola , Illegal drug trade 1793 Words | 5 Pages. Smoke Signals MoviePaper CompareContrast. Comparison and Contrast Essay Smoke Signals and An Out of Body True Essay, “This is What It Means to Say Phoenix” Smoke Signals is the story of two Native . Americans, named Thomas and Victor, who grew up together and go off on an adventure to scene, find who they really are. Creative Supply! Thomas is young and lives with his grandmother, because his parents died in a fire when he was a baby; as we later find out, Victor’s father Arnold started the fire. Thomas lives by the morals and ethics of python witch scene a traditional Native American, following the le belle merci, beliefs. Difference , Family , Fiction 945 Words | 3 Pages. 1. Compare and python scene, contrast these poems.
Poems: 1. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, Robert Frost Whose woods these . are I think I know. His house is in the village, though; He will not see me stopping here To watch his woods fill up with snow. An Out Experience: Essay! My little horse must think it queer To stop without a farmhouse near Between the monty python witch, woods and frozen lake The darkest evening of the mona, year. He gives his harness bells a shake To ask if there is python witch scene, some mistake. The only other sound's the.
Carriage , Emily Dickinson , Life 742 Words | 4 Pages. Compare and mona lisa clothing, Contrast two online businesses In this blog I am going to compare two online businesses and I have . chosen Amazon as it has a large online presence and Tesco as it has a significant presence within retail and have developed their online presence greatly. Firstly I will provide a brief history of the two organisations that I have chosen. Amazon.com is an American multinational electronic commerce company with headquarters in monty, Seattle, Washington, United States. It is the world largest. Amazon Kindle , Amazon.com , Electronic commerce 1274 Words | 5 Pages. Compare and creative supply, Contrast Beowulf Book and Movie. In the movie and poem Beowulf there were many differences and similarities that stood out to me. Usually when a book or poem gets . made into a movie there are many differences and similarities. Witch! This is why I was not surprised that Beowulf the movie was no true to the original poem. I enjoyed the poem a lot more than the mona lisa clothing, movie . The movie seemed artificial and not believable in comparison to the poem.
One difference between the poem and the movie was that the poem explained the actual story of Beowulf. Beowulf , Difference , Grendel 468 Words | 2 Pages. Writing and Compare-and-contrast Essays. ? Compare and Contrast This type of python witch scene writing assignment is common. On a standardized test, you may be asked to analyze . literature, evaluate ideas, or make a judgment and the allegory, explain your reasons. Monty Python! In responding to the allegory cave, these types of prompts, you often will compare and contrast characters, concepts, or choices.
You will be asked to identify similarities and monty witch, differences, which are the le belle dame merci, key to compare -and- contrast essays. Monty Witch Scene! There are ways to organize your thoughts about compare -and- contrast topics, which will. Comparison , Comparisons , Essay 1384 Words | 4 Pages. ? Compare and Contrast : six sigma, lean, and kaizen Donna Guillory Siena Heights University HCM301-OG, Summer 2015 May . 20, 2015 Abstract This paper will work to compare and contrast six sigma, lean process improvement, and Kaizen. In so doing, it will serve to elaborate on of the, the different similarities in each of these process improvement methods and the ways in which they differ, detailing a clear understanding of each of the three different approaches. Keywords: process improvement methods.
5 Whys , Business process , Lean manufacturing 1144 Words | 6 Pages. The compare and contrast between Ellen Foster by Kaye Gibbons And The adventures of Huckleberry Finn by monty python scene, Mark . Twain Gabriel A. Montenegro Bravery is not inherent, it is rather acquired from the circumstances or situation faced in analysis, the life. People face lot of witch problems in their lives and to cope with those situations and move in with one's life is the sheer example of being brave. The same has been depicted by. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn , African American , Ellen Foster 2432 Words | 6 Pages. ?Professor Vogl Cognitive Psychology 17 April 2012 Compare and Contrast Cognitive development is the development of . intelligence and problem-solving ability that begins when you are a child. Jean Piaget and Lev S. Vygotsky were two psychologists who focused on cognitive development and had similar and different ideas with the subject.
We will found out how Piagets theory is compared and contrast to Vygotskys theory. Jean Piaget was a Swiss psychologist that focused on the education of children. Developmental psychology , Jean Piaget , Kohlberg's stages of moral development 1122 Words | 5 Pages. Compare and Contrast Leadership and Management 1 Minnesota School of BusinessCompare and mona lisa, Contrast Leadership . and python scene, Management 2 Career Aspirations My goal is to obtain a position with my current company as a senior vice president of creative supply operations for the Mortgage Division. Scene! This position is analysis, currently three positions up from monty scene, my current management position. I will need to of Body, do a lot of monty scene planning and proving myself to continue to rise up the corporate ladder as there are many managers all trying. A Good Thing , Decision making , Ethics 1522 Words | 4 Pages.
In this essay, I am going to compare and An Out Experience: True or Flase? Essay, contrast three significant events in the film of 300. First, I will discuss the events . leading up to the historical battle at Thermopylae. Then, I will compare the movie version battles at Thermopylae with historical accounts. Finally, I will contrast events after Thermopylae between the movie and actual history. As I recall, when I saw the python witch scene, movie several months ago (it's not available for creative supply, reviewing again from witch, Blockbuster until July 31, 2007), the most significant. Battle of Salamis , Battle of Thermopylae , Greco-Persian Wars 861 Words | 3 Pages. Libby Sacco Art History 320 Professor Bonnell 2/1/2010 Compare and Contrast Though overwhelmed while visiting the the odyssey, . contemporary wing at the Baltimore Museum of python scene Art, I was able to narrow my interests to two particular artworks.
The two works I have chosen to compare and alfred, contrast are Robert Indiana’s No. 7, and Frank Stella’s Abra Variation III. At first glance, one might make a far-fetched assumption as to how these two paintings are similar, but with further examination their similarities. Color , Difference , Dimension 1387 Words | 4 Pages. Compare and Contrast of a Snowflake and a Raindrop Iva Gate . Eng 121 Umberto Umbertino 11/23/2012 I. The differences between a snowflake and a raindrop II. Monty Witch! Snowflake A. Formation B. Shape C. CLOUD , Evaporation , Liquid 633 Words | 3 Pages. Compare and Contrast : Cal State LA amp; Cal Poly Pomona Cal State Universities are excellent choices because they are part of . the adler's theory, most affordable public education systems in the nation and promote access to higher education. Monty Witch! When deciding to go to a university like Cal Poly Pomona or Cal State Los Angeles, there can be many things that need to the odyssey analysis, be considered in order to make the python witch, right choice.
These include finances, level of independence, and whether or not a major has been determined. Students. Academic degree , California , California State Polytechnic University, Pomona 1171 Words | 3 Pages. Running Head: COMPARE AND CONTRAST Compare and Contrast Self Administered Test Mary Coleman May . 12, 2008 PSYU 565 Jeffrey A. Stone, PhD. Chapman University Compare and alfred adler's theory, Contrast Self Administered Test The assignment for this week is to compare and contrast the monty python, results from three self administered tests we took in class. The tests I will compare and contrast are the 16 Personality Factors (16PF), the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), and creative supply, the Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis (T-JTA). 16 Personality Factors , 16PF Questionnaire , Carl Jung 1566 Words | 5 Pages. ? Compare and monty python witch, Contrast Many have heard the saying, “Nobody's perfect” and alfred adler's theory, truth is no one is.
Everyone has something they want . to change or improve about themselves. Society plays a big role in encouraging people to monty witch scene, look a specific way, a way that is described as its version of perfect. The Allegory Of The! A way that helps portray this vision of what people should look like is through advertisement. Ads are what grasps the attention of society and fights to pull them into contributing, buying, etc. Monty Witch! their products. Advertising , Dieting , Health 827 Words | 3 Pages.
compare and contrast flatland book and the movie. Abdul Razziq Memon MS. Harishminn Period: 4th 03/26/13 Compare and contrast Between Daedalus Flight and MIT Flight The . Fight of Daedalus and the Flight of MIT are one of the articles in which you can find many things to compare and contrast . They both have many similarities and also many differences, which also made both stories more interesting. But remember one thing both had the same goal and that was to get success in flying. Alfred! Now first of all, I would like to tell you the scene, analogous. Crete , Daedalus , Difference 625 Words | 2 Pages. Compare and Contrast Essay Boxing is a sport known worldwide in which two people engage in le belle sans, a contest of strength, reflexes and . endurance by throwing punches with gloved hands.
People have favorite boxers in different weight categories. Juan Manuel Marquez “Dinamita” and Emmanuel “Manny Pacquiao” are two favorite and very different boxers. They had different Amateur careers Marquez proceeds from a family of boxers, he began boxing in amateur tournaments at age 13. “Dynamita” marquez. Boxing , Boxing weight classes , Citation 1033 Words | 4 Pages. Compare and Contrast of: The Family Crucible: The Intense Experience of Family Therapy Written by: Augustus Y. Napier, Ph. Scene! . Creative Supply! D. with Carl Whitaker, M.D. By: Queenesha Herbert Argosy University Dr. Kaplan December 18, 2012 The Family Crucible is a book depicting the scenario and witch, drama of the Brice family’s experience in family therapy with co-therapist Dr. Carl Whitaker and Dr. Augustus Napier.
Presenting Issue . Family , Family therapy , Father 1130 Words | 4 Pages. method according to an Amy Chua, a Chinese-style mother, but Hanna Rosen, a Western mother, has written her own opposing perspective as a parent. Amy Chua . is a prime example of one those stereotypically strict mothers. She has written an article and a book addressing the difference between Western and Chinese parents and she illustrates why she believes the strict Chinese method is what is best for children. In her article she has stated that there are “tons of studies” that prove that this Chinese method. Childhood , China , Han Chinese 851 Words | 4 Pages.
Farrah Hussain Ms. Creative Supply! Flaherty CUNY Start Reading and Writing 08 March 2013 Compare and Contrast Essay Frederick Douglass and monty python witch scene, . Malcolm X both were African Americans who struggled to be successful.Frederick was born a slave for life 1817 he didn’t go to school but wanted to have knowledge. He had a lot of the allegory of the cave obstacles in monty python witch scene, his path but the fact he wanted to learn to read and write keep him going though he wanted to creative supply, give up sometimes. Witch Scene! Frederick Douglass also wanted abolish slavery.Malcolm X was born in. African American , Black people , Haiti 925 Words | 3 Pages.
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Two (strong) views on blockbuster essay about U.S. religion, politics. Jesuit Father Antonio Spadaro with Pope Francis. Witch Scene? (Credit: L'Osservatore Romano.) On Monday, Crux's weekly radio show on the odyssey analysis the Catholic Channel, Crux of the Matter, featured a conversation between Austen Ivereigh and python scene Thomas Williams about a recent article by two close friends of Pope Francis asserting there's an ecumenism of hate in the United States in ties between Evangelical Fundamentalists and Catholic Integralists. This is a transcript of their exchange. A recent blockbuster article by alfred two close friends of Pope Francis asserting there’s an “ecumenism of monty scene, hate” in le belle dame sans, the United States, aligning fundamentalist Evangelicals with “Catholic integralists,” continues to kick up dust. Critics are deriding its grasp of monty scene, American realities, while defenders insist it names an ugly truth that needs to be confronted.
Adding fuel to the fire, many people have assumed that because the authors are close to the pontiff, at least in some big-picture sense the article must reflect Francis’s own views. To discuss the issues raised in the article by of the cave text Jesuit Father Antonio Spadaro and Argentinian Protestant Marcelo Figueroa, this week “Crux of the Matter,” Crux’s weekly radio show on scene the Catholic Channel Sirius XM 129, which airs Mondays at 1 p.m. Eastern, invited two regular Crux contributors to weigh in: Austen Ivereigh, a British Catholic intellectual and commentator and co-founder of Catholic Voices, who’s the merci author of a deeply approving biography of scene, Pope Francis entitled The Great Reformer: Francis and the Making of cave text, a Radical Pope . Thomas Williams, an American theologian and ethicist based in Rome, who also serves as the Rome bureau chief for Breitbart News . Given those pedigrees, it may come as little surprise that Ivereigh and witch Williams had sharply contrasting views on the La Civilt a Cattolica article, with Williams describing its “bald statements” as “laughable by academic standards,” and Ivereigh insisting he’s “amazed” people seem to the odyssey be missing the point, which is that the article’s core argument is “absolutely spot-on and python witch scene irrefutable.” The following is an excerpted transcript of the lisa clothing conversation between Ivereigh and Williams, which took place July 17. “Crux of the Matter” is python witch scene, co-hosted by Crux editor John Allen and co-editor and Vatican correspondent Ines San Martin. Crux : Can we ask each of you to of Body give us the one-minute version of your take on the article?
Tom, let’s start with you. Williams : It’s not a long article, it’s about three pages. Python? It was very disconcerting to me and obviously to of Body Experience: a number of other people, since there have been numerous articles written by now criticizing the piece, especially for its over-simplification of the religious landscape in the United States and its history, and the way that morals, politics and religion have played out in that history since the founding. In particular, the authors are really targeting the relationship between Evangelicals and python witch scene Catholics working together, in an ecumenism they determine to be an ‘ecumenism of creative supply, hate’ or an ‘ecumenism of conflict.’ That’s not only a strawman – I can give evidence that it’s completely false – but it was a very disturbing piece that displayed an awful lot of ignorance about the American situation, and also a lot of monty python, tendentiousness and partisanship. For instance, they list a number of adler's theory, U.S. presidents they see as infected by monty python witch scene a very bad form of analysis, Christianity, and every one they mention is monty witch scene, a Republican – Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, George Bush, Donald Trump. They say every one was influenced by this very bad form of Christianity rampant in America. Why not talk a little bit about presidents on the left, or presidents who were Democrats, who have been influenced by another form of Christianity in the United States? Why limit it to this single-minded criticism? Ivereigh : I agree that in many ways the article fell between two stools. [ Note: That’s a British schooling expression, meaning too difficult for a beginner and not detailed enough for an advanced learner. ] It wasn’t big enough or comprehensive enough to take in what is a very big canvas, which is, as Tom just said, the interplay between religion and politics in the U.S. However, I’m surprised there have been so many essays in response to it pointing out its faults in this area, sidestepping the big point the article is making, which to me is absolutely spot-on and irrefutable. It’s that an extremely unhealthy collusion on the right of American politics, between very conservative Catholics and Evangelical ‘ultras,’ frankly has produced not only a Manichean world view and an apocalyptic geopolitical outlook, but it’s done enormous damage to le belle dame sans the Gospel and to the Christian witness in the United States.
I’m amazed, really, at the sheer volume of articles arguing the piece, and in none of them is monty python scene, there any acknowledgement that there’s anything wrong with American religious and creative supply political culture, which just seems to me absolutely staggering. Crux : We set this conversation up by saying that most people, looking at the bylines on monty this piece, couldn’t help assuming it reflects the the odyssey views of Pope Francis. Witch? Do you both think that’s a fair assumption? Ivereigh: I think we have to be very careful about saying this article reflects Pope Francis’s views. Actually, I could never imagine Pope Francis saying what’s said in this article, because that’s just not the way he is. That said, I know he would share the concerns the article seeks to identify, which is the collusion and the apocalyptic geopolitical outlook I just mentioned and which the article focuses on. Antonio Spadaro and analysis Marcelo Figueroa, both of them, by monty python scene the way, friends of mine, are very close to Pope Francis and understand his thinking in a very deep way. So, I think it’s right to say the concerns would be shared by Pope Francis, but I don’t think you can pin the argumentation anywhere near the pope.
I very much doubt, actually, that Pope Francis even read the article [prior to publication], though of creative supply, course I don’t know. By now he’s certainly learned about it, and I think he would have given a general approval to it, as the monty python witch Secretariat of State did, because I think it makes a very powerful argument. Williams : I think it’s a bit of creative supply, a weather balloon, and I also thank God that Francis did not sign this document or anything like it, because it would have done great damage to his pontificate, which would have been terrible. I think he maintains a certain distance and monty python credible deniability by having two of his friends write it in creative supply, this journal, so he can watch and gauge the backlash to it, see what people say about it and monty scene the criticisms that are leveled, and then decide whether he wants to move in closer or step back. He’s said himself that he’s not an expert on religion in the United States or culture in creative supply, the United States, and so, no, I don’t think this is python witch, something that comes out of his head.
I do think he shares these concerns, as Austen said. Creative Supply? I completely agree with that. But I don’t think he considers himself enough of an expert that he would directly weigh in on the history of religion and politics in the United States in monty, the way these authors have dared to do. Crux : Tom, apart from breakdowns in details, did you see anything in the article you thought was helpful or accurate? Williams : A lot of what they say is lisa, true, in the sense that, yes, is there a ‘Prosperity Gospel’ that distorts the Gospel of Jesus Christ? Yes, it exists. Is there a website called Church Militant that spouts all sorts of crazy right-wing ideas about the Catholic faith?
Yes, yes there is. Was there a 12-volume work called The Fundamentals ? Yes, there was, etc. It’s not in the individual facts, it’s the way they’re sewn together into a generalization that ‘this is the state of monty scene, American affairs,’ and bringing it together as if this is the way in which American conservative Christians and Catholics think. They far over-emphasize the adler's theory influence these individual works have had. By the way, when you get into monty ‘Manichaeism,’ you have to alfred adler's be very, very careful. Monty Python Witch Scene? This has a long history and a very specific meaning. In the way they speak about it here, they manifest great ignorance with regard to the history of lisa, Manichaeism, what the movement actually meant, what it was that Augustine was attacking when he attacked Manichaeism, and python where it came from. To throw that on American Christians, I think, is absolutely absurd. It’s like labeling your enemy a ‘Hitlerite’ or something, when the creative supply person has nothing to witch with Hitler whatsoever.
Ivereigh : Whether or not they’re using ‘Manichaeism’ in a correct way, there certainly is a black-and-white, us-and-them aggressive view of the world, which has been expressed particularly by this administration, with the support of sans merci, leading Catholics and leading Evangelicals. I’ll just again express my amazement that this doesn’t seem to bother Tom, or indeed anybody else who’s rushed to criticize this article. I realize I’m a foreigner here standing outside, but if you ask me about Catholicism in Europe and politics, I would point to a lot of very unhealthy narratives, particularly around fascism and nationalism in the early part of the witch 20 th century. I would say that’s deeply unhealthy, it’s a violation of the Gospel, and that’s exactly what’s happening at the moment in the United States. Tom’s boss, Steve Bannon, gave a talk to the Vatican by Experience: or Flase? Essay videolink back in 2014, in which he said the Judeo-Christian tradition is in scene, crisis and only the ‘Church militant’ can fight against this new barbarity. [Note: Bannon resigned from Breitbart to take on his role in the Trump administration, so he is no longer Williams’ “boss”.] He talked about the the allegory long history of the struggle of the West against Islam. Python? This is a Manichean view, this is the idea that religions are destined to clash militarily. Frankly, it’s a narrative that’s very close to that of ISIS, and I completely agree with the two authors in that sense. That’s what they meant by ‘Manichean.’ Whether it’s a correct use of the word, I don’t know, but it certainly nails the truth, and theory I’ll just say again, I find it astonishing that people like Tom defend it. We are talking about monty witch scene a white Christian nationalism, very similar to what Putin is spouting, very similar to what Mussolini spouted back in the 1920s, which of course is all about the defense of alfred adler's, Christian values, but it’s an extremely selective defense.
As we all know, the U.S. Catholic right for python, a long time has said that there are ‘non-negotiables’ such as abortion, but hey, climate change? That’s a prudential judgment. Immigration? That’s a prudential judgment. Small arms trade?
No, that’s up you, it’s a matter of freedom. Death penalty? Also, somehow prudential. That’s what I mean about the ransacking of the Gospel, the political manipulation of Catholicism for ideological ends, and that’s exactly what this article called attention to. Crux : Tom, Austen mentioned your relationship with Steve Bannon. Do you want to respond to that?
Williams : I understand that Austen doesn’t like Steve Bannon, that’s fair. He’s a very well-read person, but what the article says … Ivereigh : I’ve never met him, Tom, so it’s not a question of creative supply, liking. Witch Scene? I’m talking about his ideas. Williams : What the article says about him is dame sans merci, simply false. They say that he has an ‘apocalyptic geopolitics,’ and that he was very strongly influenced by the Calvinist Pastor John Rushdoony. As far as I know, and I did a lot of monty scene, research on this, Steve Bannon has never heard of Rushdoony. Of Body Essay? He’s never mentioned him, he’s never alluded to him. This is monty scene, a pastor who taught that all the teaching in alfred, the Old Testament should be applied in monty python, modern-day law, including execution of blasphemers, execution of homosexuals, etc., a very theocratic view. Le Belle Dame Sans? Steve Bannon is not a theocrat.
Obviously, Austen’s never talked to him, because he doesn’t have a theocratic bone in his body. He doesn’t want to see government by Bible. To attribute that to him, which is the python scene one paragraph that names Steve Bannon, just displays an astounding ignorance. These authors don’t know the adler's theory people they’re talking about, they don’t know what they believe and stand for, and yet in a pseudo-academic journal they’re willing to make these bald statements that are laughable by academic standards. How can you say something that’s patently not true, and then, by the way, you put in a footnote that doesn’t even relate to what you’re insinuating in your statement? I found it just appalling. Crux (San Mart in): As a non-American, I was personally frustrated with the article. Beyond which facts were accurate and which weren’t, I found an extreme lack of acknowledgement of the witch scene many good sides of the Catholic Church in creative supply, America. Shouldn’t they have recognized that the Church in America is python, not just all white nationalist, alt-right, crazy people? Ivereigh : Ines is saying this article doesn’t cover the mona clothing good things about United States Catholicism. Well, of course it doesn’t.
It’s a 2,200-word or so article identifying something very sick and very ill in the American culture. I think it was an article that was focused on one thing, and monty python witch it did it well or badly depending on the odyssey analysis your point of view. I think it delivered the crucial punch, but didn’t do it as well as it should have done and left itself very open to monty witch criticism. Pope Francis has a very positive view of the U.S. Church, and indeed when he was in the United States, he had plenty of sans merci, praise for it.
All of us admire U.S. Catholicism … it’s vigorous, it’s big, it’s strong, it has a tremendous influence in U.S. society. But there is a dark side, and python witch it is a theocratic impulse, it is the idea that you can conquer the le belle merci public square by trading in some parts of the Gospel and neglecting others, that you can do deals with power-brokers to witch ‘Christianize’ from An Out Experience: True above. That needs acknowledging, and it hasn’t been acknowledged. Crux : Austen and Tom, unfortunately we’ve run out of time, but no doubt we will pick this up again.
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